Good riddance

I would like to have the person's head on a platter who came up with April Fool's Day. What is the history of this dumb old "holiday" anyway? I mean really, what are we celebrating? We're not honoring those who have secured our freedom. We're not celebrating the Savior's birth or resurrection. We're not even getting a day off. Or a Hallmark card. Or turkey and mashed potatoes. Or candy! At least Halloween offers trick OR treat. With April Fool's all you get is trick.

Are you sensing a wee bit of bitterness oozing from my blog? The source of said bitterness is that my children ADORE this "holiday". They think it is hi.lar.i.ous. I think it is an.noy.ing.

For those of you who know me, you might think I'm the kind of person who loves practical jokes. I love surprises. I love to laugh and have fun. I seem like a relaxed and fun mom. But I'm not. This is how I fool people. Remember, I'm a closet control freak. The problem is that I have big reactions. Really big as in screaming and jumping up and squirting in my pants. And this is what makes my kids so excited to pull a prank on me. They especially dig the squirting in the pants part.

On April Fool's, they are united as partners in crime. It is kind of cute to see how they are laughing as they scheme together. EXCEPT that I am their victim! On the night of the 31st they were supposed to be in bed, though I could hear the oldest two shuffling and giggling upstairs. I wanted to indulge them a bit in their united love of this sadistic "holiday" because I am trying to let my inner "fun mom" come out.

When Bill and I went to bed this is what we found...

• a bra hanging from the ceiling fan
  
• missing toothpaste and deodorant
  
• cotton balls blocking the toilet paper roll from turning (that one was pretty good)
• a cotton ball shoved into my soap dispenser so it wouldn't squirt out
• cotton balls shoved in the drain of our shower
• cotton balls resting in my glasses(they should write a book titled "Creative and Naughty Uses For Cotton Balls")

• a "short sheeted bed" kid-style (basically just messed up sheets)
• a few other random "hilarious" pranks
  

I was just glad there wasn't Saran Wrap on the toilet. Please no one tell them about that one.

So while they were at school I decided it was my turn to scheme. My kind of April Fool's joke is doing something fun to surprise someone that will be a blessing to them. My plan was to tell the kids after school that I forgot that they all had dentist appointments. They would be really bummed, but then we would go to the office and when we checked in the receptionist would say "April Fool's!" and instead I would take them to Dairy Queen. The receptionist was all for it, so our plan was set.

I was excited all day and congratulating myself that I was, indeed, a fun mom. If you read my blog you know that is a sign that all would not go as I hoped (pride goes before a fall...). What I forgot to factor in was that we got to a pediatric dentist. Her office has video games galore and a movie always playing. Dr. Heidi is as nice as she can be and she always lets them choose a prize. They may not like the actual teeth cleaning, but it turns out THEY LOVE GOING TO THE DENTIST. They were all disappointed after she said "April Fool's" and they didn't want to leave. To top it off, Tate didn't trust me when I said we were going to Dairy Queen (after I had lied about the dentist) and kept warning the kids not to get their hopes up for ice cream. I thought it was going to be hi.lar.ious. They thought it was an.noy.ing

We don't have a good track record with April Fool's Day. Last year Tate was sad that he didn't have a joke to play on his friends. For some reason, I suggested he could tell them we were moving to Florida. After school, he said he had told one friend and he totally fell for it. I said, "How did he react when you said 'April Fool's'?" His response, "Oh, I kind of forgot that part." It turns out that one friend's mother worked at the school so I had several people ask, even weeks later, about our move. Remember that one, Mindy?

So April Fool's Day, you fake non-holiday, I wash my hands of you...at least until next year.