you can't lose what you don't have

i think i'm losing my mind. and i even have evidence.

exhibit a: a few weekends back, we received two invitations for two parties on the same day. one for a pool party for jack and em. the other for a birthday party and cookout for the whole fam. i rsvp-ed for both and planned our saturday around them. when we showed up for the pool party (late of course), i found it strange that the host's car wasn't even at the pool. but we marched in, presents in hand, only to find that there was no such party at the pool that day. dejected children and perplexed mother left. at home, i looked at the invitation. it clearly said the party was on sunday, not saturday (at least we didn't miss it!)

then it was time for the cookout. we all drove to the house excited for the night ahead. but as my family was headed to their door, it struck me that maybe i had confused this party's date as well. i checked the invite and sure enough, it was for sunday as well. like a crazy woman, i yelled to my family now standing on the front porch "DO NOT RING THE DOORBELL!! IT'S TOMORROW!" this time no one was dejected, nor were they surprised. mom was just, well, being mom.

thankfully, our calendar was free on sunday so we could go to the parties we rsvp-ed to at their actual time.

exhibit b: don't congratulate yourself on what a clever passcode you came up with for your ipod unless you write it down or actually remember it. i remember being very proud of myself for the passcode i came up with, but i have absolutely NO recollection of what that clever passcode may be.

exhibit c: i took out chicken breasts from one of those big frozen Sam's bags to put in the crock pot. how refreshing that i was thinking about dinner before 5pm for a change. i went on with my day. as i was putting kids to bed that night, bill asked me "did you mean to put the bag of frozen chicken in the lazy susan?" i love how kind he is with his word choices. "umm...definitely not."

exhibit d: i don't remember what issue bill and i were discussing, some sort of decision that needed to be made. all i remember is saying to him, "i really just need to pray about this." he gave me a curious look which i didn't understand since he is always one who is up for praying about things so i asked him why he was looking at me so oddly. he said, "oh nothing. i guess i was surprised that you wanted to pray again."

me: "again?? what do you mean?"

bill: "miss, we just prayed about this a couple of minutes ago."

i had him replay for me the whole thing and still nothing. now, i have definitely spaced out during prayers before, but never to forget that we were praying at all. it left me feeling uneasy.

exhibit e: this is not a joke. i seriously had another one and now i can't remember it. gosh. seriously?

it is so sad to me that i can't seem to hold very many details in my head. it may be partially due to all the space being taking up by 80's song lyrics. but i am just not an organized, efficient, task oriented person. never have been. and though i can improve, the truth is, i never will be. at least not the the degree that i would like. but, frozen chicken in the lazy susan left undetected for 10 hours? that's even worse than my usual "tricks".

which brings me to a little more serious side to this post. my daddy had alzheimer's. getting alzheimer's is one of my fears and, given the fact that it has genetic links, it is actual one of my more rational ones. should i be worried that as i age i seem to have more and more of these "lost moments"? the answer, of course, is no. not just because we have been commanded not to worry (Philippians 4:6,7). and not just because my worry will accomplish absolutely nothing (Matthew 6:27) but because i watched my dad walk through it. more importantly, i saw the LORD walk alongside him. alongside all of us. whatever my future holds, i know i will be held.

so, regardless of what i do or do not remember both now and in years ahead, the important thing is what God remembers...

He remembers His covenant forever...

(from Psalm 105:8)

and what God chooses to forget...

"For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

(from Jeremiah 31:34)