wait, don't answer that. i know the short answer of course, but i'm looking for something more. we just finished the last of our home study visits. YEA! it was such a strange experience in some ways. the "best" was the walk-through our house.at first i decided that i shouldn't feverishly clean. my firstborn convinced me that it was more authentic to let her see the state the house is usually in. so i thought i could do it au naturale. but i couldn't.an hour and a half before she arrived, i caved. i ended up feverishly cleaning. and it looked pretty good, if i may say so myself. i'm sure i would have had our social worker totally fooled if...
a) i didn't admit to her that i was sweating when she walked in due to the feverish cleaning
b) my dear daughter didn't blurt out as we stood in my picture perfect bedroom, "usually there are clothes thrown all over the floor and it's the messiest room in the house".
what was my point? oh yeah, am i normal?
so, throughout this process of the home study i find myself vacillating between two feelings. the first is that we are so blessed and i can't wait to have another little kollar on our team. this is a good team. we are still in love. we love our kids. we have a home that's happy, fun and full of grace and freedom.
the other feeling isn't as warm and fuzzy. it's goes something like, who are we to think we would be a good home for another child? this is a crazy house filled with crazy people (except bill, of course). by adopting aren't i just going to be "ruining" another little person? as a mom, i'm selfish, impatient and inconsistent and i don't have my kids floss.
it's not dissimilar to the dynamic that happens when i watch the supernanny. i spend half the show thinking "what's wrong with this family?!" and the other half thinking "what's that number again for the supernanny?" so i don't watch it. why be conflicted unnecessarily?
so am i normal? well, i think we all know the answer now since i purposely uploaded the above picture of myself with 5 chins...what sane person does that?
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11 comments:
Not normal is so much more fun. Ask my kids!
Thanks for stopping in. You have a pretty fun fam yourself. Funny, our dogs could be twins. Ours is mutt part golden retriever we picked up from the pound 5 years ago.
Hey Missy,
I just stumbled upon your blog. It's been a fun read! Nice to "meet" you :)
Autumn
so it makes me smile to know you don't make your kids floss either! whew! neither do i, in fact i'm pretty sure the only time they get a good flossing is at the dentist and the day or so following the visit where i feel empowered to keep it up, and like i said that only last like a day! hehe. the homestudy wasn't bad at all, i didn't know what to expect so i guess that's why. thanks for stoppin by the blog!
kala
oh and by the way,normal is SOOO overrated!
Funny!
We don't floss either:)
Michelle
missy your kids don't FLOSS!!!?!??!?! I'm telling. AND, Emma's comment made me laugh out loud. (Can't wait for the little things our kids say at the worst times!! haha)
I also cant' wait to meet the new little Kollar. if he/she's anything like the other 5 we're all gonna be reading some GOOD blogs!!! =)
Miss you!
Normal, according to a book title, is just a setting on your dryer. (Ok, I looked at my dryer...no normal setting, but, you get the point.)
So, not being normal now is only a start...you need to hang out with me & Micah when we're out at different places. We're not a "normal looking" family...caucasion mom~~asian boy with a missing arm...we get stares, points & whipsers. So, you not being normal, my dear, that is JUST the beginning. The beginning of a lifetime of being mommy to the next precious Kollar that the Lord has chosen for your fmaily.
So, don't worry about not flossing (they DO brush, don't they??!!). And, being your friend wouldn't be nearly as much fun if you WERE normal. : )
Sheri--trying to decide when to start packing for an unknown departure date to meet her daughter!
We think you are awesome!!!!! Love the photo!
Um. You are for sure NOT normal. And that is why we all LOVE you SO much! Who/what exactly IS normal, anyway?
I know I'm NOT normal. Or maybe, b/c none of us are normal, we all really ARE normal...unnormal becomes the norm? I dont' know...
I'm confusing myself. But, I could've written that post, so I guess we are in the same boat.
OH. By the way...I tagged you.
Check out my blog, and then get to it, lady. :)
Can't wait to read what you come up with.
Miss-You're so great!
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