happy birthday to lu!

when we went to bed last night lulu was one...

then we wake up today and she is this many...

(I love that I can see a little bit of lipstick in the corner of her mouth from when she seized her opportunity to smear it all over her face while i was on the phone with kristin. i was distracted for 45 seconds tops. she's just that good. or bad. depending on how you look at it.)

it feels like it happened just like that. overnight. like yesterday she looked like this...

and, poof, she wakes up like this...

we just announced that she was home...

and now we are announcing that she is TWO...

she may be a year older, but she is still "Her Loveliness".

have you heard the line bruno mars sings about her?

"and when you smile

the whole world stops and stares for awhile

'cause you're amazing

just the way you are"

you are amazing, just the way you are.

you have changed our lives.

you have changed our hearts.

and you are changing before our eyes.

but this will never change:

you are ours.

you may no longer be a baby,

but you are our baby.

we love you, dear lulu.

super

i had an unfortunate run in with a scale at the doctor's office this week that led me to decide late saturday night that my diet should start sunday. superbowl sunday. the super bowl sunday when our life group is gathered and our countertop is overflowing with treats divine. needless to say, my superbowl diet was a super FAIL. but the time with our friends was super fun. and fergie's bedazzled football uniform outfit was super cool.

speaking of the excessive use of the word super, did anyone see the "what not to wear" episode with the flight attendant with the caked on make-up who kept describing her garish wardrobe as "super cute"? emmie and i thoroughly enjoyed it and can't stop mimicking her. try it, you'll like it.

also included in the weekend was a super celebration of my nephew tim's birthday...

and now we have another birthday to get ready for. a little lady who is genuinely "super cute" and almost TWO...

which is super hard for this momma to believe.

but not everything about my weekend was super. there are some things in life that are just not bloggable, but are so deeply woven into your heart that you have to blog that you can't blog about them. that was my friday. a night that i stood on holy ground. a night that i saw and heard and felt god in deeply beautiful, yet painful ways. i texted bill about the experience, "when i doubt god, i will remember this night because he showed me that he is real."

to my friday friends, you know you are: i am believing god with you and for you. because of you, i am more convinced than ever that he is real.

so much in this life is anything but super. i wish the hardest things in life were things trivial things like failing a diet. but when you see god in the midst of pain and fear and darkness, you may not find "super", but you may find peace and hope. and even all the money that went into the superbowl, can't buy that.

finding my voice

i wish i could sing. when i was in junior high i wanted to sing like amy grant. now i wish i could sing like alicia keys or fergie. or my friend rebecca whose voice is as pure as an angel's. yes it's true that i can do a pretty sweet, though off key, cher impersonation. (though for some reason my church hasn't taken me up on my offer to do a special song, "i got you, lord." go figure!) but i can't really sing.

still, i do have a voice in life. i've been thinking lately about how i am supposed to use it. both in my daily life and on this blog. i use my voice in lots of ways both for good and ill. i praise my god. i communicate my love to my friends and family. i celebrate life with my voice. but around the house i also use my voice in some ways i am not proud of. i have used my voice to shame my kids more times that i would like to admit (sadly, i am still learning the difference between disciplining them and shaming them.) i can tear my husband down with sarcasm or an unnecessary edge in my tone. oftentimes, my voice is harsher than it needs to be with the kids, bill, and even the dogs. case in point, lulu started saying "go away!" and when i asked the kids who they thought set that example for them, they each pointed to one of the others. the very next day, i caught myself as i started to shout "GO AWAY!" to the hairy beast. guess who was the poor example this time?

and way too many other times. in fact, even i as i was writing this i just yelled at emma to stop yelling. proverbs 15:1 is up on my bathroom mirror, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." up on my mirror, but not lived out enough in my life.

beyond how i say it, i am not always sure what message my voice should speak. in daily life and in bloggy land. i know i want to share (and live out) the gospel. i know i love to use my voice to make people smile, and laugh and cry (the good, healing kind of tears). i know i want to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. but i don't know always know what that is supposed to look like. i am a pretty simple girl, but i don't want to be a shallow girl. and i get all mixed up as i try to figure out what it is supposed to look like for ME to find my voice in this world.

i think i came one "note" closer to understanding my voice this week. i think i have found my mission statement in life (it's a mission statement, not a memo...name that movie) thanks to my friend Rachel. She gave me the cutest little bag that says

"live imperfectly, with great delight"

on the back. and thus a mission statement was born. this is how i want to use my voice. i really have no choice but to live imperfectly. but i want to do it with great delight. great delight in my god. great delight in my family. great delight in each person i come in contact with. great delight in each day. great delight in the world. i want my voice to communicate delight. even delight in the quite imperfect life i am living.

so, that's my voice. now i just need to keep practicing my singing. some days it may resemble a bit more of a croak or moan. and i'm pretty sure it's gonna come out sounding like my crazy cher impersonation, not fergie. but that's okay, 'cause that's just me.

have you found your voice? i'd love to hear your memo mission statement...

snow has frozen my bloggy brain

i have lots going on in my mind and heart, but as a result of everybody home for two snow days, my post has been reduced to this lame list.

1. we watched despicable me. LOVED it.

2. we made french toast, pizza bagels, and blueberry-banana shakes...

(i had to promise to cut tate out of the pic due to a bad hair day...teenagers!)

3. i committed the poison control number to memory thanks to lulu brushing her teeth with A&D ointment, and trying to eat hydrocortisone cream and putting mascara on as lip gloss...

(i guess i'm too busy keeping her alive to wipe her nose.)

4. i showered both days. but after i showered i just put on jammies. tomorrow life will get back to normal, so i will have to put on real clothes. and say goodbye to my minions. bummer. at least i'll still have this one around...

eat, drink and see mary

poppins that is.

my christmas gift from billy was two tickets to mary poppins for emmie and me...

poor lulu is still smiling because doesn't know she is about to get left behind as we head here...

it was an AMAZING show! i loved how they could adapt an already brilliant movie to the stage by changing up the story enough to make it interesting and adding additional songs that were as brilliant as the originals (with one notable exception).

***spoiler alert*** i was disappointed because i would have liked for the show to end with bert proposing to mary and they could fly off to wherever she disappears to together. i'm sure that umbrella could hold them both. then they could have a sequel where the super nanny is called in to help with mary poppin's out of control children. hello disney? i think i've got a script for you.

now is the part where missy tries to play that she is super-cultured as she reviews, for the common good, the stage productions she has seen (or at least that she remembers seeing):

mary poppins (★★★★★) it had it all!

les miserables (★★★★★) wow!

mamma mia! (★★★★1/2) how they could turn all those weird abba songs into a fabulous musical is still beyond me

oliver (★★★1/2) a great small town production and not just because my niece was in it

phantom of the opera (★★★) yes the music was beautiful, but a creepy stalker can't score the big points with me. sorry!

movin' out (★1/2) it turns out i only like billy joel singing billy joel songs. i didn't get it at all

little shop of horrors (★) what was that?!

sweeney todd (no stars) freaky and disturbing

i'm not a stage production junkie, though i do enjoy a good show. but i love experiences. mary poppins was not only a fabulous production, it was a fun experience to share with my own little spoonful of sugar, Miss Em...

after the show, we went for the oh-so-cultured option of the taco bell drive-thru for a late night dinner and the new pomegranate fruitista freeze...

the night can be summed up in one word. one very big word. in fact, the biggest word you ever heard. bet you can guess what it is. bet you are going to be singing the song all day now. sorry 'bout that.

if the shoe fits

(before i get on with this post, if you are visiting here from kelly's korner- welcome! if you are looking for our adoption story see here, here, here, here and the posts starting here. or just read the whole dang blog. what an amazing journey to lulu and an amazing life with her!)

lately we've been considering future direction for our lives. we are in college ministry and we are at an "advanced age" for such a task. we still love college students. but the age gap just continues to grow. we have wondered if there is a "shelf life" for being in direct student ministry which is one of the things that led us to a program through dallas theological seminary for leadership evaluation and development recently.

the time was significant in our lives on many different levels which i am sure i will be blogging about as i continue to process it. but one of the things that we walked away from the time with is a continued sense that, for the time being, we are right where we are supposed to be.

yes, we are old. yes, we are the age of some of the students' parents. and no, we cannot relate to college students (or more accurately, they cannot relate to us) in the same way that we used to. BUT we are still passionate about college students. and we still believe he can use us in their lives even though i'm am more acquainted with spider veins than tanning beds.

we still love what we do. and why wouldn't we? at our winter conference this year, i got to spend time with these lovelies...

lindsey and allison loved on my kids and challenged me with their passion to care for orphans (if you have adopted, they are probably stalking your blog). not only are they college students, but i knew these young women as little girls since they grew up in my home church as dear friends of my family. this is an especially sweet part of doing ministry close to my home.

we got to be a part of packing boxes of food to be sent to haiti through feeding children everywhere...

yes, i know i rock the hairnet. don't hate me because i'm beautiful. emmie also decorated each box we packed...

while at the conference, we lived in a hotel with another family whom we love. i know it sounds kind of weird, but i dig communal living. the kids creatively made it their home with playhouses in the bathtub and closet...

they may have run up and down the hall a few times too...

and had some good cuddle time...

the kids get to be a part of their own "kids conference" with other staff kids who have become a very important part of their lives, despite the distance between us...

there are hard moments for sure. and there still may be a change in our future. but, once again, the bottom line is still we love what we do. so, at least for now and despite of all of our middle aged glory, the college ministry shoe fits. so we are wearing it. with joy.

even if the shoe is orthopedic.

LUCI, you got some 'splaining to do!

dearest lulu,

what is up with your precociousness as of late? for example, i enjoyed finding you in your crib trying to squeeze your baby's shirt onto your body...

but i didn't enjoy NOT finding you for 15 minutes the other day. calling through the whole house for you with no response. i knew you were still in the house, but i didn't know what might be being destroyed. when i found you purposely hiding in the front hall closest...

i didn't find it as hilarious as you did. i am realizing that there are some benefits to having loud children. you, o quiet one, about gave me a heart attack. the other three never could have stayed quiet for that long. the first rule of hide and seek: the seeker has to know you are playing hide and seek.

of course, there is always the random swiping of food and shoving it into the mouth as quick as possible...

and if you have a problem with how daddy and i are doing your hair, why don't you just tell us? you don't have to take matters into your own hands...

(i like how you made it look like you were wearing a yarmulke)

when i tried to use it as a teaching opportunity and asked you, "who is supposed to do your hair lulu?" your answer was "ME!"...

(wrong answer, baby.)

my answer to the above incidents could be to put you in time out...

(please note: this is a joke. this is not time out. she crawled in there of her own accord)

but your answer is simply, "I sorry mama. i forgive me." (supposed to be "will you forgive me").

excuse me while i melt.

besides, you are almost two. you are just doing your job. and whether you are making trouble or making me melt, one thing is for sure...i love luci.

proudly and always,

your momma