Sister Love

Luci May and I spent Friday and Saturday at Gunga's. This time, it was special because all of my sisters were there with my Mom. I have three incredible sisters and this was our first time together since my Mom's diagnosis. I have often described the connection between the sisters as "magical". Maybe that sounds weird, but it's the best way for me to explain it. We spent our first couple of hours together in a chemo room. It's funny what love can do. That usually depressing place, turned into a place of laughter and fun. I guess that's what I mean by magical. TI have to admit, though, that Lulu was probably the key transforming element with her constant smiles.

We enjoyed time with Gunga...

Time with aunts...

Aunt Carrie

In the following picture, that's Aunt Georgie's leg. I guess I didn't get another one of them together. It figures, huh Georgie?

And to make matters even worse, I did get one of Lulu and the dog...

I'm sorry, Georgie! I didn't get even one picture of Lulu with
any of Amy's body parts, so don't feel too bad.

And time with Miss Robin, an unofficial family member, who joined us for dinner that night. She's in the center...


P.S. Yes, I know that my baby looks somewhat possessed in the above picture, due to her scary, iridescent eye. So be it. What I don't know is why it will only underline when I write. I guess it's my cue to end this post.

She couldn't leave well enough alone...

Lulu is in full crawling mode. She is faster now, though still pretty methodical. One reason she is slow is that she gets easily distracted. The toy. The dog's tail. That delicious piece of lint. I'm afraid I need to vacuum more often. When I was feeling sad about transitioning to the mobile stage, I was only focusing on her crawling away from me, but I neglected to think about the fun of having her crawl to me...

I love that part. And I have adjusted.

But then she immediately goes and pulls this on me...

(I especially love the Yoga Baby move above)

She is now upwardly mobile!

I don't mean to not celebrate her development. It is a blessing for which I am grateful and that some parents long for their children to experience. It's just not what I expected. I thought she'd crawl around for a month or two and THEN start pulling up. I didn't realize that she would go from 0-100 in 60 seconds.

This means my coffee table decorations are a thing of the past because she does this...

The hand declares her intent

We have lift-off!

"Oh look, something i could choke on"
"Since Mommy took the flower away, I'll just nibble on this leaf"

"And drool on the Word of God"

I must say, she really has some pretty good moves...

So now I introduce to you, my Lulu-proofed coffee table...
Empty.

Have at it, little sister!

It's good to get good news

We just found out that we received a grant from the Show Hope Foundation for some of our adoption expenses. This was exciting news since things have been a little bit tight since completing our adoption. It was also fun news because 6 years ago when adoption was first born in my heart as a desire, I had this crazy dream. I dreamed that Steven Curtis Chapman called me up and said "You are supposed to adopt, Missy, and I want to pay for your adoption." I didn't even know he had a foundation at that time. I just knew his family had a heart for adoption.

Turns out that dream wasn't so crazy after all.

In other good news, we have slowly been re-introducing the items quarantined due to lice. I've taken my sweet time in doing it, because I want to be good and sure those things are dead and gone. One thing I learned through our lice experience is that matching bedding is over-rated. But it was fun to give our kids back their comforters and such and see how excited they were. Jack kept saying over and over, "My bed covering. My bed covering...". And here is Emmie receiving her throw pillows for her bed...
Look at that big smile. It reminded me that doing without is one of the greatest stimulants to thankfulness. Jack never indicated a fondness for his "bed covering" until it was gone for several months. I hope I remember this lesson.

And there's even more good news. I got a Nikon D40 for Christmas last year. I thought if I had a digital SLR, I would magically become a world-class photographer. It turns out there's a little bit more to it than that. But, I loved having it. Then one day last spring it stopped working. At least it stopped working for me. It would not shoot in automatic, only in manual. Which means, you have to know what you are doing with the camera in order to take decent pictures. That did not bode well for me. You may have noticed several of my pictures being blurry or having shadows. This would be because I need AUTOMATIC, NOT MANUAL. I'm a youngest child...I want an automatic, not manual, setting for everything in my life!

Life was so busy and I kept forgetting to check into it. I was pretty sure I was going to have to send it away for many months to be fixed. Instead today, I called Tech Support, made a new best friend in Enrique and voila...my automatic setting has returned! I can now resume my quest to being a clueless, yet world-class photographer!

I wanted to take pictures right away, but my usual suspect was napping. So I took pictures of my Tater who was home sick today. Poor guy. It's bad enough not to feel well, but to have to endure a photo shoot as well...
He looks miserable, but not blurry!

Thanks so much for your sweet comments about my Mom. It's so fun to have real life and bloggy friends along for the ride, for the good news and the bad.

The Reason for my Sadness...

My Mommy has cancer. There, I said it.

The primary cancer is gall bladder cancer, but it has spread to her liver which is the biggest issue. She has started chemo treatments to stop the tumors from growing and shrink them. But there is no surgical option and they cannot shrink them completely.

I guess if you are going to get cancer, 80 is a better age to get it than as a child or a mother with young children. In any case, I hate cancer. And right now, I especially hate cancer that is in my Mommy.

She is doing well emotionally. First of all, she has a confidence in her relationship with the Lord which gives her hope for the future. For the present, I think she is glad to have started chemo and has been tolerating it well so far. In fact the night after her first chemo treatment, she went out to a ball...
That's my mother for you! I mean, really, how cute can one person possibly be?!

As for how I'm doing emotionally, it's definitely up and down. God has reminded me of His goodness in the midst of it all. Over the past six years since my Daddy died, I have been pretty panicky at times about the thought of losing my mother too. But the night before we found out about the cancer, God replaced the panic with a sense of peace. I'm not saying that I'm ready to say goodbye to her yet. But I am ready to be held close by my God, come what may.

He walked us through the Alzheimer's years with my Dad and the pain of saying goodbye. And I know He will walk us through this. You know, sometimes I miss the Alzheimer's years because although they felt so unbearable at times, there were also some of the sweetest moments of experiencing God's grace I have ever known. I expect nothing less in the painful journey ahead of us. What I miss most about my Daddy being gone is being able to show him my love. So I'm going to concentrate, with whatever time we have, on showing my Mommy just how much I love her. And how grateful I am to her for lavishing love on me my whole life.

When I consider the timing of this challenge, I am especially grateful that the adjustment for our whole family has been so smooth with Lulu. She is sleeping well. She seems settled, happy, and to be attaching to us. And she has a laid back personality that can roll with the punches. In addition, the other three kids seem to be settled in as well with nothing more than the typical behavioral issues common to the Kollar family. Now my head is barely above water in managing my home, but as far as our adoption goes, things have gone pretty well so far. The smooth transition has made it possible for me to have the emotional energy to engage in what is going on with my mom. I have been able to travel to doctor's appointments. And what better "pick me up" could there be in hard times than this sweet face...

I have not only my own emotions to deal with, but those of my children as well. They adore their Gunga and the oldest two are having an especially hard time processing what all of this means for now and for the future. It has been an opportunity for some precious conversations together. One funny interaction was when Tate was asking about Gunga getting chemo. When I told him that she was, he asked "So I'm going to have a bald grandma?" Before I could even answer he said, "I'm cool with that."

The day my mom found out about her cancer she said "God has been faithful to me my whole life, I don't expect Him to stop now." Thank you for modeling this kind of faith to me, Mommy, both in good times and in bad. I'm pretty sure that everyone who meets you wishes they could be related to you. How did I get so blessed to be one of the ones who calls you "Mommy"?

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18.

Worth Celebrating

Some things are worth celebrating and Jack is most definitely one of them. So we did just that this weekend. Friday night was his birthday party. Jack's newest obsession is baseball, so he had a baseball party.
This felt a little deja vu to me since last year he had a football party. At this point, I need to explain something about my kid's birthday parties. I LOVE planning my kid's parties. We start planning in the spring for their fall birthdays. My favorite part is the invitations. Go figure, I love words. I love having a theme running throughout the invitations, the favors, the games. And I love the creative process of coming up with those ideas. Though it is their birthday party, it can easily become more about me and what I want to do in the name of fun and creativity, than what I want to do in the name of blessing my children. In saying all this, I'm not try to say that I throw incredible parties. Oh, in my head, they are FABULOUS. But the problem is, though I love the brainstorming and creating aspects, I am terrible with organization and execution and terribly good at procrastination.

Having said all that, the boy wanted a baseball party. So he got a baseball party. No cajoling him into something that would be more fun for me, this time (minor victory). I did have a little fun with the invitations...
But it breaks down after that because I was sick the week before and Bill made me promise that I wouldn't knock myself out to throw a great party. Especially since all they really want is some icing and time to open presents and play. They had that...
In a weak moment, we said it could be a sleepover. With only two other boys spending the night, it was actually a breeze. Until they woke up at 5:52am...
We made them go back to bed and thankfully, they obliged...
Saturday was his actual birthday, which he was clearly keeping track of...
He had a little surprise waiting for him on his birthday morning of our first snow ...
Snow on October 10th? I thought my fall decorations looked kind of cute with some unseasonal "frosting".

We spent the day at Gunga's. He was pretty excited about his gift from Gunga...
Guess what it was...
This is how excited Emma was for him to get something that she also wants...
He was also excited (along with the rest of us) about having his cousin, Josh, home from the Air Force Academy for the weekend...
In case you're wondering how old he is now, he wore a shirt that advertised his new age...
As if there wasn't already enough excessive celebration, the final event was lunch with Grandma at Red Robin on Sunday. Guess who took these pictures with his new camera?

My what big eyes you have, Grandma. He likes zoom a little bit.

And finally, my favorite picture from all of the birthday festivities is Jack doing armpit farts...
He may be a new age, but he is still my same Jack. And I'm so glad. We love you, Action!

I think I'm having a Jack Attack!

He used to be this...

and this...
Now he's this...

And this...

I'm not even sure how it happened, but it's sure been a fun ride!

Happy 7th Birthday, Jack!
You are a Jack, a King, and an Ace.
Never a dull moment.
Never.

8 is great

Her Loveliness, Luci May, is 8 months old today!

Since I may take a few pictures of her once in awhile, we have 8 photos to
celebrate this occasion.

Serious.

Or should I say seriously cute?

Momma love...

Daddy love...

Surrounded with love...

Bringer of joy...
Eyes that sparkle...
Kissable, pouty, perfect lips...
The whole world envies Angelina Jolie's lips. Angelina envies yours, baby.

Dimples...
and a Lizard tongue, of course.

Lovely Luci...
You grow lovelier each day
with a light than shines from within.