Fast Forward, Rewind and Pause

I've been reflecting a bit on what this waiting process has been like so far. I am anxiously awaiting the day when we will get our referral (I think we're #8 now). I want to FAST FORWARD time because I am so excited for it to be "our turn". I want to see our little girl's face and pray for her by name. It's so weird to have this affection in my heart for her when there is no object of affection yet. Even more, I long for the day when I will board a plane to go someplace I never dreamed I would go to bring home a daughter I have dreamed about holding in my arms for 5 years. And actually meet this little person for whom we have waited. I look forward to figuring out what our family is supposed to become...our new "normal" (Like we were ever normal???).

But right now there are these 3 kids in my home. They are growing so fast. Before I know it they are going to be driving and texting and (gasp) dating. Time is marching on and I wish I could hit a PAUSE button. But alas, I don't have a pause button. What I can do is enjoy this time. I need to treasure the cute little things they say and do. I need to eat up the time I have with them. Before too long my house will be plenty quiet. I won't be refereeing any fights. And I will have adequate "me" time. When that day comes, I will be wishing I could hit REWIND and have back a little of the chaos that is my life right now.

We're waiting and hoping and preparing, but I don't want to live in the future. I don't want to live in the past either. I want to live in the moment and not miss out on what God has for me right now. The picture below captures how I want to live my life in this regard:

I want to live each day the way Jack does...with joy, passion, energy, laughter, gratefulness and a whole lotta rock star swagger.

But maybe with a little less volume.

Who needs dumb old Florida, anyway?

It's been Spring Break around here. Thankfully not the kind with mardi gra beads and bongs, but wild in its own way because that's just the way we roll. We didn't travel anywhere, but we had plenty of adventures nonetheless.

We went to an indoor inflatable extravaganza...

Jack and Gunga

the cousins were supposed to be doing a HSM jump pose,
but it didn't quite work:

this is my son yell "WEDGIE, OH WEDGIE!" after going down an inflatable slide:

And the Children's Museum...

the shopper:

the sniper:

and the stalker:

(Don't you love the shorts and tye dye soccer socks worn on a 40 degree day?)

Grandma's indoor pool...


The park with friends on a beautiful day...


And our favorite indoor play structure on a stinkin' cold one...

The above picture is my crowning glory as a mom. I took it to show that I climbed
to the top of that play structure with my gigantor purse and big camera in tow.
Not an easy feat given my size and advanced age.
Here we are ready to go down the swirly-whirly slide:
I screamed the whole way down
which was embarrassing entertaining for my children.

And there was still plenty of time for sleeping in...

While he was out...

My husband went to Florida. Life isn't fair. Before he left he asked me not to attempt any painting projects while he was gone. It might help to give you a little context. The last time he went away I decided it would be a great idea for us to surprise him by re-decorating his office. So my neighbor helped me move all the furniture into the middle of the room and take everything off the walls. I decided to forgo spackling. It's highly overrated. Who minds a few holes in the wall here or there? A perfectionist, I am not.

I chose a great shade of red and purchased the paint committing my self to this course of action. Have I mentioned that Bill does all the painting in our home? There's a reason for that. I rarely succeed at jobs that require an ability to be precise. I'm intuitive. I don't like measuring and all that boring kind of stuff. Are you getting the feeling that this project of mine is destined for failure? Here's how it all went down. I marched those three kids in that office with a gallon of dark gray primer and all sorts of enthusiasm. We got primer on one wall. And on a few other things too. There was paint on the baseboard. Paint on the carpet. There was paint on Jack's arm. And paint in Emma's hair. And there was a frazzled Mom with no shred of her ridiculous optimism in tact.

So Bill returned home, weary from travel, to find the room in that state. The kids were saying, "Daddy we have a surprise for you!" I sheepishly opened the door and said "surprise". He looked at me and said evenly "Surprise you trashed my office?". You are correct, sir. He spent the next few days painting his "surprise" himself. This is why I purposely married a very patient man. It comes in handy given my personality. And painting ability.

So I honored his wishes. No painting projects this time. There were a few things that I did do and some that I didn't do while he was gone. They are as follows:

I did get the children to school without one single tardy. This is usually Bill's job since promptness is not exactly one of my virtues. But we did it, which was even more amazing since...

I did get the stomach flu. The night I was the sickest the children were left to fend for themselves for dinner. Tate and Em did fine with Easy Mac. Jack was a different story. The evidence (strewn on the kitchen floor) showed that his dinner consisted of 6 fruit snacks and a cheese stick.

I didn't take the trash out, at all . Call me old fashioned, but in my opinion there are some jobs that are distinctly boy jobs. Trash? Totally a boy job. Mowing the lawn? Boy job. Washing Dishes? Also a boy job.

I didn't feed the dog for approximately two days. I don't know how it happened. Maybe it's another boy job. Ruby took matters into her own hands and a woman three blocks away called saying "We have your dog and I think she's hungry. We're going to go ahead and feed her." Oops. Before you call Animal Protective Services, please know that I made it up to her...I gave her a cheese stick.

And finally, I did miss him like crazy.

He's home now and so the planets are aligned again around here.

Ballet, buns and abs...

The Divine Miss Em had her ballet recital last weekend.
One thing I appreciate about this studio is they make
recitals special, but not so special that you
have to get a second mortgage to participate.
They wore plain pink leotards which I borrowed (thanks Beth)
and homemade skirts from 3 years ago.
Emmie is pictured below(left) with her best friend.
I love that they can share these memories.

One requirement for the recital was to have the girl's hair in a bun.
I was a bit panicky.
I do pony tails. I do pigtails.
But I don't do buns.
Until now.
I kept congratulating myself to pretty much anyone who
would listen about my feat.

Ta-da...

In other news,
the weather has been beautiful.
Jack has been dressing appropriately...

Could spring be here for good?

what is my problem?

When my kids are fighting(which is not infrequently) it drives me insane. INSANE. I grew up as the youngest by 6, 9, and 12 years. There wasn't very much sibling fighting in my home, at least not that I remember. And because of this age difference, I think my 3 sisters would have gotten in pretty big trouble for fighting with the "innocent" baby of the family. So, part of my frustration it is that I'm just not used to it.

Another part of how I respond is that one of my strengths (according to the Strengths Finders assessment which I highly recommend) is Positivity. I like feeling happy. I look for the silver lining. I'm a shiny, happy people. I'm Izzy. Not dark and twisty like Meredith. And fighting children messes up the picture of a happy little home that I desire to have. Don't mess with my positivity. It makes me negative.

If you have any thoughts on dealing with fighting and sibling rivalry, feel free to send them my way. I know I need to PRAY and watch my reactions. Because their fighting grates at me so, I can tend to react in frustration and anger. I am currently memorizing and meditating on Proverbs 15:1. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. And James 1:19, 20. My dear brothers, take note of this, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Unfortunately, I'm slow where I should be quick and quick where I should be slow.

But really what compelled me to write this post is that when my kids fight, I'm frustrated. But when they are getting along, running through the house laughing and playfully teasing one another joyfully and boisterously (as they are this very minute), I am bugged. Severely bugged. I'm telling them to STOP!

Seriously, what is my problem????

Well I should be getting to bed a bit earlier now. Now that I've finished the Twilight series. And maybe I can stop having intense vampire dreams someday soon. I didn't want to read the books. But I was intrigued by friends my age who were reading a teeny bopper book. Friends going in groups to the movie wearing "Edward Bite me" shirts (Jenna). What's up with that? I was perplexed and my friend Amy was obsessed kind enough to lend me the books so I could see for myself.

And I did see the (twi)light.

If you have not read them, you may not want to read on. I tried to be careful not to reveal anything, but I don't like to know anything about a story so I thought I warn you that I do say a wee little bit.

At first, I didn't get the whole Edward thing. I couldn't be with a man, however immortal, that was cold all the time. I like heat to emanate from my man, at least in the winter. I think I'd much prefer a werewolf from that standpoint. But now that I've read all of them, I can understand a bit better. Strength and tenderness. Great combination.

I was bugged by Edward and Bella's relationship until the final book "Breaking Dawn". I mean they were just so young. I'm a mom, young love doesn't look real cute from this vantage point. A lot of the time, Bella seemed pretty pathetic and dysfunctional while Edward was a bit controlling. Before you get too mad at me, know that their relationship grew on me. It helped that they were married. And that I had spent so many late nights with them. By the last book I was feeling like I knew them. I was wishing the Cullen's would be coming over for dinner. Sorry, Ruby...I'm afraid the Golden Retriever would have to be the main course. (Can I really publish that? I'm going to, but please know it was totally a joke. I do love my dog.)

So no more late night reading. My husband will be relieved. One night while reading an especially intense part, I woke him up twice to see what the noises were I was hearing downstairs. After he came up the second time he said "There was nothing. Just the vampire sitting at the kitchen table."

Don't I wish. I really am going to miss all my vampire friends.

Our very own Top Ten

We got our new wait list number today. We are #9 on the girl's list. We're in the top ten! Honestly, I have no idea what that means about when we might receive a referral, but I think it's best not to try and guess such things. Here are two Ethiopia-related things I am excited about. The first is a purchase and the second a gift.

Here is the purchase. An adorable market bag with this happy little bird from my new friend at Better World. She is making these bags to raise money for their adoption. She has fabulous taste and you will be lookin' sass with one on your arm, while supporting a good cause!

And now for the gift. I wasn't sure how my Mom would react to our adoption. She is an incredible woman, but she comes from a different generation. Plus she's a mom and she tends to worry about her kids. She has been supportive all along, but when she came back from a Free Trade store with this...
I was so moved. She had asked the woman in the store if she had anything from Ethiopia. She said "When I saw it I knew it was an Ethiopian angel for our Ethiopian angel." Insert hugging and sobbing.

The best part of the story is that later I noticed there was a little tag on it that read "Colombia". Hmmmm. That's curious. If you know my mother PLEASE PROMISE not to tell her about the Colombia part. As far as we are concerned, this is our Ethiopian Angel...and her name just happens to be Colombia.