Halloween 101

Everyone does it differently, but I myself have a few rules concerning this season of the year that seem to order my fall universe, so to speak. They are as follows:

1) It is ideal to take ones children to a charming pumpkin patch to pick out pumpkins. If this is not feasible, then take them to an affordable one (i.e. FREE) that is not scenic and don't let them buy anything. Instead let them pick out pumpkins from bins in front of Wal-Mart at 2 for $6. Be sure to take their pictures at the pumpkin patch, making it look as scenic as possible, because pictures in the Wal-mart parking lot are never aesthetically pleasing.

2) When passing out Halloween candy it is preferable to have two different bowls of candy, one with "good" candy and one with "bad" candy. The "good" candy is reserved for cute little trick or treaters while the "bad" candy is for anyone who is 15, dressed in normal clothes, and carrying a king sized pillow case. Also for anyone with a costume that bleeds. I define "good" candy as anything involving chocolate and "bad" candy can be something like nasty cheap bubble gum or leftovers from last year.

3) Mommy is a nicer mommy when she has at least one Pumpkin Spice latte or Frap per week. This number would be much higher if paying $4.17 a pop didn't sting so bad. The good news is that they are now making a Pumpkin Spice creamer at the grocery store. That'll work.

4) If you, like me, really love the look of candles illuminating pumpkins and the idea of carving pumpkins as a family, but you are opposed to slimy pumpkin guts and the possibility of one of your children impaling themselves, there are other festive options. I convinced my children that making our own caramel apples (using a "fancy"store bought kit) would be every bit the adventure of pumpkin carving. Nevermind that my oldest doesn't even like caramel and my youngest thought it was some sort of trick that I then told him an apple was his dessert. But popsicles sticks are not sharp, so I felt much better about the whole thing. One of these days I really am going to move past my fears...there is always next year.

5) If you really wanted to dress up for Halloween as Sarah Palin (or at least as Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin), but were too tired, don't worry. Just put on your costume the next day and put a picture up on your blog. It will make you feel better even if you only stayed in costume for 5 minutes and you got mad at your husband because you didn't like the way he was taking the picture. Sorry babe.

6) If your kids came home with heavy bags of loot but there was not ONE Almond Joy in the bunch and you forgot to wake up early the day after to go out and buy multiple bags of Almond Joy's at 50% off, don't despair. They are totally worth paying full price for.

7) Whenever possible spend $4.99 total on your children's costumes. If you can't even sew on a button, try hand-me-downs, marginal creativity, and low expectations...

The Football Player, "T-Diddy", and the Astronaut

The Astronaut made it to 4 houses before he needed a wardrobe change due to an "annoying" space helmet. My sisters explanation that Astronauts need those to stay alive didn't cut it. So after the wardrobe change, Shadow Ranger appeared...

Maybe we should have done a potty break at the same time?

38 going on 13

We saw "it" this week and "it did not disappoint. Yes, we are High School Musical people. I would have wanted to see it even if my children were not motivated. They just made it possible for me to not be embarrassed while purchasing just one ticket for a 38 year old woman. I still was slightly embarrassed when I got teary eyed during the movie, but only my sister knew that and she had her own moist eyes to deal with. But I don't care: I love these movies! I love them so much that we went directly from the theater to buy the soundtrack. Now the songs are echoing in my mind while I do jazz hands all over the house.

"All I wanna do is be with you, be with you..."

*Sigh*

Lest you TOTALLY mock me, I'm kind of joking about the sigh part...kind of.

She reads!

Since I'm a reader and all now, I would love to recommend a book to you that has been a source of both angst and delight in my relationship with God.

Whiter Than Snow

meditations on sin and mercy
by Paul David Tripp

The sub title may hint to why it has brought some needed angst in my life as I have had to own up to the fact that my greatest problems in life do not exist outside of me, but within me. I don't think there is any arena that I am more aware of this in my life than in my mothering.

This book is neither a traditional Christian book nor a devotional, but 52 meditations on sin and mercy that are intended to sing the tune of grace in our lives. This fall I have felt at times like my world is spinning out of control. But God has used this book to bring a bit of grounding in my life about the freedom and grace found in Him.

On the lighter side, I thoroughly enjoyed Meredith Efken's

SAHM I Am

Where Stay-at-Home Moms Connect

This novel about an email loop of stay-at-home moms is very clever, while also being encouraging. I found myself laughing out loud at times (that pretty much never happens while God is raking my soul through the above book) and identifying with so many things in the story. Especially since I have joined the wacky world of blogging.

One last recommendation I have for you is...

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Just because I am reading actual books with covers and meaningful words inside doesn't me that I still don't love me some People! In fact, I just got a 3 months free subscription through Toys R Us. Let's hope that doesn't put the kabosh on the whole reading real books gig I've got going on. I kind of like it.

P.S. Don't "Click to Look Inside" above. I'm pretty sure nothing will happen.

Random facts rule the day

There are games in blogland? I love it! My friends Angela and Eryn tagged me and so now I am stressing about what actually qualifies as a random/weird fact. I almost looked up the word random in the dictionary to try and get some clarification. This is all ironic since I am one of the most random/weird people in the universe. Actually I prefer the word "quirky".

I guess that putting that much thought into this activity is the opposite of random. So here goes...
1. I have a co-dependant relationship with my body pillow. It started during my second pregnancy, but now has become a permanent fixture in our marriage bed and in my heart. My husband tolerates it(referring to the body pillow as the third party in our marriage) and has resided himself to only get 1/3 of the bed.

2. I love all things 80's. Actually listening to 80's music is almost a way for me to worship God because I am just celebrating down to my inner core. Most people don't consider "Come on Eileen" to be like a worship song, but I'm not most people.

3. I love fall for several reasons, but let's just highlight one. Three words: Pumpkin Spice Latte! (from Starbucks, of course)

4. I've never colored my hair. I will probably need to get going on that soon since the grays are starting to colonize on the crown of my head.

5. I listen to Radio Disney even when my kids aren't in the car with me. I'll admit, I like the Jonas Brothers!

6. I'm not much of a reader, unless People magazine qualifies. Ironic since I was an English major. I'd just rather watch the movie! But I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I'm actually reading 3 books right now.

7. In my definition of random, at least one of the facts should be embarrassing, thus this last fact. I tend to sweat a lot at night. I think I sweat more than my husband. Now that's just wrong. It's significant enough that one morning my daughter came in to cuddle with me and I started to scoot over to let her lie down on my side. She said "No, thanks. I'll go to Daddy's side. I don't want to be near the sweaty Mommy smell." Lovely.

So, now I'm tagging Kristin, Hilary, Jenna, Mindee, Beth, Jana and Chris, Kala, and Julie. Have fun!

Someone had a birthday...

Can you guess who it is?
His Dad refers to him simply as "Action",
which suits him well.

He has one speed: fast. And one volume: loud.
Passion is his middle name.

He is...
1 part Sanjaya
2 parts Will Ferrell
And 3 parts Energizer Bunny.
Throw in a little William Wallace
And a lotta Jon Bon Jovi.
Add personality out the wazoo
and a tender heart beneath it all.
Put it all together and you've got a little Jack.

My baby (for now) is six.
Here he is, in all his shaggy Jack-ness...

in "action", of course!

I'm pretty sure this was not accidental

His favorite birthday gift was an amp for his electric guitar.
If you are thinking right now, "Are you insane?!",
the answer is "yes". But, here's the deal...
we are nurturing this rock star thing and
plan on taking the rock star gravy train as far as it will go.

Seriously, a verse I claim for him is Psalm 33:3,
"Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully,
and shout for joy."

Happy birthday, dear boy! You are loved!

am i normal?

wait, don't answer that. i know the short answer of course, but i'm looking for something more. we just finished the last of our home study visits. YEA! it was such a strange experience in some ways. the "best" was the walk-through our house.at first i decided that i shouldn't feverishly clean. my firstborn convinced me that it was more authentic to let her see the state the house is usually in. so i thought i could do it au naturale. but i couldn't.

an hour and a half before she arrived, i caved. i ended up feverishly cleaning. and it looked pretty good, if i may say so myself. i'm sure i would have had our social worker totally fooled if...
a) i didn't admit to her that i was sweating when she walked in due to the feverish cleaning
b) my dear daughter didn't blurt out as we stood in my picture perfect bedroom, "usually there are clothes thrown all over the floor and it's the messiest room in the house".

what was my point? oh yeah, am i normal?

so, throughout this process of the home study i find myself vacillating between two feelings. the first is that we are so blessed and i can't wait to have another little kollar on our team. this is a good team. we are still in love. we love our kids. we have a home that's happy, fun and full of grace and freedom.

the other feeling isn't as warm and fuzzy. it's goes something like, who are we to think we would be a good home for another child? this is a crazy house filled with crazy people (except bill, of course). by adopting aren't i just going to be "ruining" another little person? as a mom, i'm selfish, impatient and inconsistent and i don't have my kids floss.

it's not dissimilar to the dynamic that happens when i watch the supernanny. i spend half the show thinking "what's wrong with this family?!" and the other half thinking "what's that number again for the supernanny?" so i don't watch it. why be conflicted unnecessarily?


so am i normal? well, i think we all know the answer now since i purposely uploaded the above picture of myself with 5 chins...what sane person does that?

Please don't call the authorities...

My silverware drawer is overflowing these days.
Why, you ask?
I have finally determined that it is because my precious children
are all bringing home silverware from school
and it has gotten mixed in with our own.
Tax-payer silverware.
Stolen tax-payer silverware.
It's not all my fault, you know.
They are responsible for their own actions, however illegal.
I guess I have raised them and they are technically stealing.
And I haven't returned them yet, so I am technically stealing.
That's on me.
But please note that I am not sending plastic spoons with them
because I am green.
Actually, it's because I keep forgetting to buy them.
Now since I have confessed this issue to my little corner
of the blog universe,
I guess I better go fish through my silverware drawer
and pay my debt to society by returning them tomorrow.
Next order of business: pay my overdue fees at the library.

Addendum: the official count is 21 spoons and 1 fork.
Complete humiliation.