a pile of rubble

holy cake batter, ben and jerry's ice cream was on sale at our delightful, yet over-priced local grocery store! so we whipped open 6 different flavors and commenced our family night. a habit we have gotten away from in the mayhem surrounding our move. the evening was so delightful that we even ate outside. without sweat rolling down our thighs (an unfortunate, yet common experience for me this summer). it was a breezy, beautiful, love bug-free evening. and it was delightful.

an especially nice treat after spending much of the day crying. i think it was triggered by lulu's smack down with the corner of a wall last night. the wall won...

tate and i were at the ER until 1am while lulu got 7 stitches. it was not a pleasant ordeal, though the patient was undeniably pleasant and brave. she charmed the doctors and everyone in the waiting room, as per usual...

and the big brother was just plain amazing. he did his homework in a pretty crazy emergency room. and comforted his baby sis...

not to mention his mom.

the best quote of the night came when we nervously let lulu see her stitches. i was thinking she might be freaked out, but instead she simply said "wow. i am so cute"...

the trip to the ER triggered my sad day not because of the injury. granted, i was tired which made the tears come more easily. but today was weepy for me because the last time lulu had stitches i was in nebraska. i was with my sisters and my niece. and i felt, in many ways, like a completely different person.

but now i am here. not knowing where to take my child when she's hurt. not having my sister to talk me down off the ledge while i try to talk my daughter down off a ledge. not having my niece fumble for the words of the songs from tangled making me smile and feel so home. 

so i cried, on and off, for the better part of the day. and i thought about these kids of mine. these brave little souls have, not by choice, left everything they've known and they are here. feeling like completely different people themselves. not knowing what to do. and not being known.

except by the people sitting around the table, eating ice cream on a breezy florida night. together we are. together and known in our new world of unknown.

so tonight, together, we made a little altar to the lord. to thank him that even though we may not be very known here, we are fully known. and we are not alone. and as our little stones of thankfulness started piling up, i realized something: it may look like a pile of rubble from one perspective. but it's not. it is a beautiful display to the goodness of god. as we were thanking god for people and things he has blessed us with in these past three months, my swollen little red eyes were lifted up. just like our family activity, my life, this little pile of rubble, is being built into an altar for the lord...

and i am thankful. even on the weepy days.