i laughed. i cried. it was better than "cats". i will go back again and again and again.

when last you heard from me, i was a jumbled mess of grown up dreams and adolescent insecurities (please note: i am still very much in that state and think i will remain there, at least in some ways, until i am approximately 82 years old.) god knows this about me. he is very compassionate with me. but he also likes to mess with me. here's what he did this time: bill left for a meeting with the van (my command central) before i left for the airport. that's when i realized that my make up was in the van, complete unaccessible. really, lord? i'm supposed to go to this conference au naturale????? but thankfully i had just bought emmie some make up for her recital so, armed with my bonnie bell best, i headed to the created for care conference in atlanta.

being reunited with christine was every bit the treasure i knew it would be...

(please don't be mad about that picture, christine.

i had to post it because it just cracks me up! we look cute enough in the other ones, ok?)

i was in danger of peeing in my pants just about every time christine opened her mouth. and our hearts were able to connect deeply so there were tears mixed with the belly laughing. the perfect combination.

we were in an amazing retreat center. i can't believe i didn't take any pictures of the snack bins or the big refrigerators filled with all the diet coke you could drink for free. then sings my soul.

we were in a beautiful setting...

though quite honestly, i didn't experience much of it. i was too take with the immediate beauty of the women i was surrounded by. take seble, for example. she is ethiopian and works at the hotel. when i meet anyone ethiopian, my heart starts fluttering with excitement. but it's not just her nationality that makes her special. she came in on her day off just to be at the conference. she stayed up til 2am to make ethiopian bread for us. she went out of her way to encourage and get to know us. that is beauty...

i got to make new friends like rory, who i would have packed up and taken home with me if it didn't cost so darn much to check luggage...

i also got to connect with dear ones whose journeys i have felt like i have been along for the ride. and as with christina and kim, have sweet heart to heart talks that only confirmed in real time the connection that already existed in cyberspace.

for many others, the connections at the conference were far too short. i experienced a strange sort of phenomenon when meeting several of the women who i was so excited to see at the conference. i find it pretty easy to make connections when meeting for the first time. in fact, it's kind of my hobby to make new friends. i also can easily get deep with old friends. but this whole "get to know someone in real life who you already feel like you know in love through their blog" had me scratching my head. honestly, i couldn't really make small talk because i already knew the answers. for example, "where do you live? oh wait, i already know. what are your kids names? oh wait, i know that too. also what you did for their birthday party." but to ask about deeper things also felt a little awkward too. i left wanting to be able to connect more deeply. which is why i guess i'll have to come back next year!

and i loved the opportunity to be immersed in an environment of seeking the lord with such an amazing group of women. great speakers. amazing worship. time alone with god...

and in that world related to adoption and orphan care, god spoke to me. though he challenged me related to my role in orphan care, he did not speak to me about adopting again. i kind of wanted him to since i would jump on that idea with gusto. instead he spoke to me about applying the things i learned there to the four children currently under my roof.

after months of struggling to make sense of some of the challenges related to undesirable behaviors in my home (in my kids but even more in myself), i feel like i finally have a framework that all those things can fit into. it's as if the past months have been driving me toward these realizations and this conference was a climactic opportunity for the lord to speak into my life.

he spoke even more powerfully than the free snacks and diet coke did (and that's saying a lot.)

so i returned home with new friends, new perspectives and a renewed passion for what god has called me to not just around the world, but in my little world right here at home.