teenager in the house.

my boy is 13...
the same boy who came into the world all bright red and splotchy, holding my heart in his tiny little hands...
the same boy who woke me every morning for a year and a half with this invitation"you can play trains with me if you want"...

(i didn't want, btw, but i am so glad now that i did)

the same boy who used to pick random leaves and present them to me as gifts of love...
the same boy who used to answer the question "what is your hobby?" with the unique reply "making things out of trash"..

this boy is 13. which means he is not really a boy anymore. he is really more of a boy-man. as jack informed him, "tate, on your birthday, you are going to start having some puberty."

i fiercely love this boy-man...

there are days that we are acutely aware that our whole world is different since gunga died. this was one of them. today wasn't just tate's birthday. he shares a birthday with our dear gunga. today was always tate and gunga day. ..
and it still is. this fact has shaped his birthday his whole life. so today was happy-sad. we always miss her, but we especially missed her today. and yet, it was a celebration. november 14th. what a blessed day. it intertwined two of the most important things in my life-my dear parents and my own opportunity to be a parent. on november 14th, my mommy entered this world. and 69 years later, my little man tate entered this world...
who is not so little anymore...
happy birthday, "not-so little" man tate. oh, how we love you.