Job Satisfaction

Last week I got to give the talk to the students at our weekly meeting. It was so fun to be around them. Even though I am old enough to be their mother, I am still passionate about ministry to college students.

The process of giving the talk was really beneficial for me. One thing I realized is that I love being able to create something and see it through to completion. But I don't get this opportunity too often. I am an ideas person. And I am not a follow through person. That means that I always have lots ideas rolling around in my head, but very few of them ever make it out of there (such a scary fate). And even fewer come to fruition. But the process of writing a talk and giving it allows for the creative process to come full circle.

It also allows me to process on my own with the Lord as I write and then to experience what I've processed in the context of community as I speak. I also get to weave stories into it, try to make people laugh, and maybe just maybe I also like being the center of attention a wee bit. But even more, I love God getting attention or glory. Despite my admitted craving of the spotlight, His fame is the deepest dream of my heart.

Another benefit of speaking is, I am forced to examine my heart before the Lord and evaluate my relationship with Him lest I be disingenuous. I don't want to be merely entertainment. And I certainly don't want to stand in front of all those students as a sham. Inevitably, what happens through the soul searching, is that by the time I am standing in front of the students, it is almost just icing on the cake if the talk impacts them in some way because the process has already impacted me so much.

Such was the case last week as I prepared and just enjoyed God in the process. I have started reading "The Jesus Story Book Bible" by Sally Lloyd Jones in my times with God. If you don't already own it: buy it, read it, love it! We have read this most nights at bedtime with the kids for several years now, but we are currently walking through the Proverbs with them. With the "Jesus Bible" not in nightly use, I decided to pick it up for my own use and then read that story from the "real" Bible. It has been very sweet. The "Jesus Bible" is one of the most well-written Christian books of all time in my opinion, in that it is both simple and profound at the same time.

That's exactly what I needed. I thought it was time that I got back to the fundamentals. There are a lot of dynamics to being a team. I can forget to cheer the victories and instead wallow in the defeats. I lose sight of the goal. When you have so many balls to juggle, how can you possibly "keep your eye on the ball" without going cross-eyed? I feel like I drop more balls than I hold onto and that I let down this team far more often than I would like. But, I know that the best thing I can do for Team Kollar is not to be a good leader as a Mom. But to be a good follower as a daughter. Help me, Abba Father, to follow You. Thanks that you lead me smack dab into Your grace. Every time.