It was one month ago that my Mommy died...
Thanks to my friend Deb, I have some unbelievably powerful images from the graveside service. But out of respect, I can only post these few because of the intensity of emotions represented and the fact that they aren't just my emotions I would be putting out there. But I am so thankful for my family to have them. Our tears honor her.Her Memorial Service was beautiful in every way...
Clinging to each other before the service...
(I have no clue what I would do without this man)The joy of having little ones to make us smile through it all...
(two rockin' pall bearers in the church lobby with their groupie)Dear Gunga, even though your gone your alive but it is in my heart. When you walked into a room that had the lights out and you could turn them on right away without even touching the light switch. I miss you so much. your life begins and ends in Jesus Crist. If something is hard for you, you never give up. Today your choir is beautiful. The first thing that hits my mind is gracious. You had a wonderful singing voice. We are crying now because you are gone. I know you are haveing a perfect time with Lane, Frances and Granddaddy and everyone else that you love. I loved when we cleaned the playroom down in the basement. Playing cards with you was a hobby of mind. Pastor Gary is speaking and he is puting you the right way. My dad did it too and he did it right too.
Love, Emma Frances Kollar
I am numb right now. It's helpful since otherwise I would be in bed all day, every day. Lord, I am just so sad. There is such an emptiness. It's an emptiness in my VERY BEING. Her love filled me up. I knew she believed in me, delighted in me, was proud of me, and would always love me. And what do I do now without loving her back? I guess I don't stop. In my heart, I am still loving her and delighting in her and proud of my Mommy.
I guess all these late night posts about my Mommy are a way for me to keep on loving her and deal with the loss. It is all still so strange, this thing called grief. The most common phrase I have muttered to myself since that day is "I can't believe she is gone." But as the weeks go by, it is sinking in.
Thankfully, so is God's love and grace.
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10 comments:
what precious images and words (especially from Em) to honor your mom. praying that God's peace would cover you now more than ever
what beautiful words. It has been alittle over a year since my mom passed away and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. Both of our moms are having the time of their lives up in Heaven in God's arms. Someday we will be reunited with them. I know that our mom's are still here in our hearts and looking down on us everyday.
Thought I would share this with you as well. A friend of mine sent it to me about a month or two after my mom passed.
Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you. Not time, not space... not even death!
This is Heather Nordstrom (my husband Russ is Leanne Pierce's cousin). We are adopting from Ethiopia - live in So. Sioux City. Want to get in touch with you! Want to see if u want to help welcome home a fam from Eth. w/ their new 3 yr. old son on Fri. in Omaha. Nordstromseven@cableone.net; Nordstromsadopt.blogspot.com I lost my mom to cancer almost 12 years ago when she was 55. I feel your pain!
Missy, I definitely agree that there's something about blogging about the grief that just helps. I don't know why, but I guess it just feels good that someone out there will know that I'm hurting, that I'm okay, but that this is a difficult time. This just isn't what we were made for. Heaven holds a death-less eternity for us. What a blessing to keep us hoping for Jesus and the home he is making for us.
You said it again and again so gracefully. Beautiful words for a beautiful lady!
My sweet friend... praying God carries you during this time. Love you!
I am thinking of you often, and saying a prayer for your healing heart....I feel like I know your mommy, from the beautiful way you talk about her...I hope someday my children will say half of that about me!
On another note...I kind of think our luci/lucy's look similar....I just posted some 4th of july pics, and the one of my lucy standing by the red chair, reminded me of your Luci. Random, I know.
Very beautiful. Your mom was so lucky to have such a loving family.
A beautiful tribute to your beloved mom. It's never easy letting go of a beloved family member, my father fell asleep in the Lord last year and I miss him terribly but am grateful for the resurrection of our almighty Savior and the promise that we will be reunited. Praying that the Lord fills your void with His holy presence.
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