It was Lulu's bedtime...
Emma did her homework...
I ate my dinner in the car...
Jack was, well, Jack...
When it started getting a little darker they moved into the van. Jack entertained himself by finding the nearest Chick-Fil-A on the GPS...
112 miles by the way. That's just wrong.Luci woke up...
We were snapping pictures and I was planning the blog post. Not exactly cocooning, but not a bad night. That is, until we got home. It was 8:30pm and the older three still needed showers. The dog was barking. There was fighting. There was yelling...mine, unfortunately. And Lulu, though exhausted, was fighting sleep.I was mad. Mad that Bill was gone. Mad at the dog for barking. Mad that everyone needed me (as if that's their fault?!) and there wasn't enough of me to go around. I was even mad at the baby for not going to sleep. And you know what makes me so sad? I think she knew it. My whole body was tense as I rocked her to sleep. I wasn't gentle or nurturing, but had a more commanding spirit. No wonder she didn't fall asleep! It was like trying to sleep on a cold, marble bed. Not surprisingly, when I confessed my anger that my life was not easy (as if that is my right?!) and my spirit softened, she fell right asleep. I'm sorry, baby.
I know some nights are just crazy. The thing is, even on crazy nights, I don't have to be crazy right? I don't expect that will be the last of such crazy nights. Or the last appearance of the crazy mom, unfortunately. But in the midst of the crazy...in my circumstances and in my person...I hope I can cling to this, "Let my soul be at rest again for the Lord has been good to me." (Psalm 116:7)
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15 comments:
I love your honest reflection of a crazy night. We all have them. Our pastor often says, "Mess up, Fess up, and Move On!" It sounds like that's just what you did. :)
I appreciate your authentic blog!
Oh, you could have just recapped a recent night in our house! Grace is sufficient indeed huh?? :)
Oh yeah.....too many times I feel my imperfect self doing the same thing. Oh Lord forgive us, and renew us! Thank you for being real! It helps me to feel normal, and know that it is wrong, but we serve a God that loves to forgive and move on. Praise God!!!!
your honesty is refreshing - sometimes it feels like i am the only person going crazy - I appreciate not being alone!!
This made me smile just reading it. I've felt like this many of times, especially when each kid has a different activity that I try to make work. So, glad to hear that I am not alone!
Hope you'll have less chaos, but looking back in twenty years you'll wish you could relive it all again! Right?!
oh...relating in Colorado.
don't miss the missing hubs on thursday nights, i must say. ;)
although, crazy mom still lives here quite a bit!
<3 U! Thanks for your prayers!
(huggyhughug)
Thank you, I needed this today. Actually every day for the last 8 weeks...
I can't believe you live that far from a Chick Fil A... I am so so sorry! ;)
A few thoughts...
1)Can't we all relate. You know it's bad when your 9 year old says, "Mom, I think you're getting a little out of control).
2) That is SOOO wrong that Chick-fil-A is so far. I think an hour is bad and I always seem to be near one on a Sunday (glad for them, just sad for me).
3) Wow, Jack could be Hayden wielding the lightsaber.
Miss you, love you,
Kristin
Hey ! Were you in my house today ???? Oye. What a day. NOT my finest hour(s). Thanks for letting me know I am not the only one who yells...sometimes ;)
Oh I can so relate!! Jeff has been gone 7 nights in the last week and a half and my patience is running thin. Between the first week of school and our 5 year old severely breaking her finger and damaging tendons I am just DONE! But, it isn't the kids' faults. My 8 year old made a comment today about me being crabby and it broke my heart! I am praying for patience and grace to make it through tomorrow!!
Hang in there and get some sleep. :0)
Hi there! I mostly just lurk but I just had to say thank you for this post. There are so many nights that this is how I feel. And so many nights I am sure this is how my husband feels too if I am being honest, if I am out running with one of the kids. I rarely remember to remind myself at time like these to just let go and remember how AWESOME our life is!
Thank you!
Oh...sigh. Thanks for being real. Nice to know it's normal (or maybe there's two of us that aren't???)
God is so good to give us kids that are so quick to give us grace. It's weird, we tend to think of parents unconditional love for thier kids as a demo of God's love for us, but all too often, it's the opposite, eh? :) Thanks for sharing.
Yet another mom who can relate...today is Sat. and my whole day felt like your evening. It rained here, and everyone was tired and crabby. My husband has been gone for a bit, and it's draining. There were a couple of moments today when I felt like it was just too much; I did a little losing it myself. And then at the end of the day, my kids still tell me they love me and they want hugs and kisses. That is such a miracle. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the verse.
ssso can relate. i'm married to a nurse. i hate rushing. i hate being stressed:)
THANK YOU!! Your honesty is my favorite reason for following your blog! I will read this post over and over to bring my self back from the crazyness that is life sometimes.
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