an anniversary, of sorts

20 years ago i fell in love.
and it wasn't with my husband (that came a little later).
i fell in love with jesus.
oh, i had known him for awhile.
it was a little like one of those romantic comedies
(my life is always way more comedic than romantic)
where the guy is madly in love with the girl
and she kind of knows it
but doesn't really get it until the end of the movie.
she sees him as a friend, but doesn't know he is worthy of her love.
like "the wedding singer" or "win a date with tad hamilton".
i guess it's a crazy comparison, but i was that girl.
my relationship with christ before january 1989
was a little bit like that.
i was blessed to grow up in a family where
i was taught about his love and grace.
and i was also shown his love and grace.
but i didn't see that he was worthy of my life.
until in 1989, thanks to my dear friend deb,
when something happened.
my eyes were opened.
my heart was captured.
my life was forever changed.
the truth is, i still don't get it when it comes to god.
i doubt him.
i forget him.
i give my truest love to other things
that will never really satisfy me.
but i keep doing it. again and again.
and i keep being lavished with his grace.
again and again.
20 years ago, in a messy dorm room,
i fell in love.
that began an incredible adventure
that i wouldn't trade for the world.