signs

there's a sign up in our yard...

i blotted out what it says just because that seems like an appropriate internet safety move. but as you may know, it is a "for sale" sign. our house is for sale. other people are walking through it trying to picture their families living and loving in it the way our family has lived and loved in it for 9 years.

instead of a "for sale" sign, i like to think of it as a sign of god's goodness (from Psalm 86:17). over and over again we see signs of god's goodness in our lives. it has been such a sign that we have been able to make sweet memories here. which is why it's so hard to let it go. but we will let go because we are holding on to the One who is good.

still, it would be nice if this process doesn't take too long. it's only been a week now of running out of the house for showings while throwing 4 kids, 2 dogs and a laundry basket or two in the van. and i am tired. but i kind of like how good the house looks pretty much at all times. so we have two options. we can either get this thing sold so we can go back to being messy. or we can build new habits during this time that carry over to our new life.

recently jack asked me, "when we move to florida, can we go from being the family who is always late to the family who is always on time?". after having the house on the market, maybe we will also go from being the family who is messy to the family who has a place for everything and puts everything in it's place. the thing with a move is that even though you change locations, your baggage still goes with you. all forms of the word.

everybody's working for the weekend

tate was working his muscles and lungs at a track and field meet...

where lulu worked a totally inappropriate outfit that daddy somehow authorized...

by afternoon, there was a storm system hard at work in our area...

jack was working his poses...

(now that's a wet t-shirt contestant that I can actually appreciate)

and em was working on her high kicks...

it was fun to play in at first. but it wasn't so fun for our boys who were supposed to go to the huskers spring scrimmage. our last spring game...

which ended up being cancelled. you know it's a bad storm if the huskers cancel a football game.

such a bad storm that we were summoned to the basement at 11:45pm by sirens for a tornado warning...

it rained all day friday and stormed all afternoon late into the night saturday, but miraculously skipped over friday. friday was clear and pleasant with sunshine. absolutely perfect weather for the outdoor outreach we were having with the prince of nebraska. did you know nebraska had a prince? it's prince amukamara of the new york giants...

that event displayed the very best kind of working of all...god's work in the lives of people!

the Cloud

easter came and went. i have plenty o' pictures of family fun i will post soon from the festivities. but it felt like the "little black cloud" of our move hung over the weekend. i am a sunshine kind of person, not a cloud kind of girl.

but my experience was that in every sweet encounter with our extended family i was reminded that gatherings like this will be fewer and farther between after we move 1000 miles away. {little black cloud}

during our church service, i was painfully reminded that this is the last easter we will worship in that place, with those dear people. {little black cloud}

as i gave energy to an easter egg hunt or other family events, there was a nagging in the back of my mind "you need to be working on the house to get it on the market". {little black cloud}

my breakthrough came the day after easter. you know me, always late. our staff team is studying exodus together and during our time i was reminded that god appeared to the israelites as a pillar of cloud by day. a CLOUD. so instead of seeing it as a "little black cloud", i can rejoice that the cloud of god's very presence does indeed go before us. he leads us and hovers above everything in my life. and god's presence with me, in me, is possible because of easter. because of jesus.

so maybe i am a CLOUD kind of girl after all. besides, there was plenty of sunshine on easter, as you can see...

Holy week...

or "Holy Cow, we have to get our coordinated Easter outfits together!"

Every year I think it will be different. But every year it is hard for me to focus on the significant things more than the insignificant. Yet again I may have given more thought to what we will wear on Easter than WHO we are celebrating on Easter.

But it's not too late. Thanks to reading my sister's daily posts on Facebook, I found this which I think will help focus my thoughts more rightly the rest of this week.

And then I've got Lulu to give me perspective. She loves to write her own songs. Yesterday she sang this interesting song of confession, "I didn't do it axadentally, I did it on purpose!" In a sense, I haven't "axadentally" allowed the lesser things to distract me from the glorious things this week, I did it on purpose. Too easily distracted. Too easily wooed.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition(or coordinated outfits, I might add) when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

C.S. Lewis

Let me not be pleased with things that cannot satisfy. Let me instead experience infinite joy. Because I was made to worship every week. Every day. May that be my most coordinated effort in life.

foolin' around

those of you have been around my blog know that i have a love/hate relationship with april fool's. i am not a fan of pranks, but my kids think this is the funniest holiday ever so i try to punk them just a little.

i have a few april fool's rules:

1) it can't cost a lot of money

2) it can't take too much time or effort

3) it can't result in anyone wanting to seek serious retribution on me

4) it can't result in any of my children crying

last year, following said rules i did pretty well. the year before we pranked our friends, so rule #3 was in question. the year before that: rule #4 was broken in the fake dentist appointment debacle.

this year, april fool's day being on sunday made it a bit of a challenge. but i finally came up with something that i thought would be at least a little bit fun. as we got ready for church, i put on one of my mom's old mumu's. though the thing is about the size of a twin sheet, i belted it and put on cute shoes in the hopes that it could pass as something realistically hideous. the kind of thing that would horrify one's children. and i thought i succeeded...

tate was the first to see me and gave a slightly surprised and disapproving sound while brushing his teeth, but very subdued. well that was no fun. on to the girls. i felt certain em would be mortified and i would be able to milk that for all it was worth. but when i opened the door to their room, lulu gasped with delight when she saw me. "oh mommy, it's so pretty! i love it! you look beautiful!" i guess lulu likes her a mumu.

this may have been what determined the unlikely response from emmie. she smiled a bit of a forced smile and said, "i think we need to get you a different belt." and she proceeded to find one for me in my closet. then she said, "i think maybe it needs a necklace". the sweet thing was trying to be very supportive. which is how i knew my acting must have been oscar-worthy.

leave it to jack to give me the response i was going for. when he saw me, he jumped back and shuddered like he was in a haunted house. i gave him the line that it was special to me because it was gunga's and he fell for it too. after i went back to tate with the line about my mom and asked "do you really think it's that bad?". he answered with a stoic, "it's lovely."

then i realized that, apart from jack's initial reaction, i wasn't getting the desired impact from my april fool's joke. why were my kids being so nice? was this whole thing backfiring on me? was i really gonna need to wear this thing to church? i honestly think someone 5'10 and twiggy could pull this polyester beauty off, but not me. stacy and clinton would have been appalled. so i shouted "april fool's!" when they were all gathered and there were 3 very relieved children. thankfully, rule #4 wasn't broken again because lulu didn't cry when i changed into my real clothes...

you're never gonna see the "fake mumu idea to church" idea on pinterest, but it was enough to get by for this year......

and maybe i will wear it again. we'll just make next year's birthday party theme "lulu's mumu party"!

"I can't believe this is happening"

This is Bill's most oft quoted phrase these days, given what is currently going on in our lives. My most oft quoted phrase is "This is so weird". We keep saying these phrases over and over again because we are on the verge of a change. A pretty big change for all of us.

It can all be blamed on this poem, really...

Disturb us, Lord, when


We are too pleased with ourselves,


When our dreams have come true


Because we dreamed too little,


When we arrived safely


Because we sailed too close to the shore.



Disturb us, Lord, when


With the abundance of things we possess


We have lost our thirst


For the waters of life;


Having fallen in love with life,


We have ceased to dream of eternity


And in our efforts to build a new earth,


We have allowed our vision


Of the new Heaven to dim.



Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,


To venture on wilder seas


Where storms will show Your mastery;


Where losing sight of land,


We shall find the stars.



We ask you to push back


The horizons of our hopes;


And to push back the future


In strength, courage, hope, and love.



This we ask in the name of our Captain,


Who is Jesus Christ.

Sir Francis Drake

These words captured our hearts and, not surprisingly, disturbed us. And so God is giving us new dreams. We are moving on from a life, location and ministry that we love with all of our hearts to follow what we believe with certainty is the voice of the Lord. What a beautiful process it has been to surrender all, to hear God's voice and to have the privilege of following Him. There are plenty of fears about moving to a different part of the country where we will no longer encounter snow, but will indeed encounter reptiles and bugs of all sorts. Ew. So many unknowns. So many losses.

We know what role we will be filling, but honestly we don't know a lot what that will look like from day to day. The cadence of our daily, weekly, monthly and yearly lives will be changing. We leave the state of my youth, the campus where we met and the home of our beloved Cornhuskers. We leave family, friends, and a church we love. We are leaving a home that has not only housed our physical bodies for 9 years, but it has been the stage for our memories to be played out on. We leave a home that we have loved and where we have loved for a home we don't yet know. But in all this, we have been consciously aware that this is not our home.

All of this "disturbing" has been a glorious unsettling that has left my heart feeling, strangely, settled in Him.

home.

Home is the most popular, and will be the most enduring of all earthly establishments.

Channing Pollock

Tate was in Chicago on his first ever mission trip...

(far left in the hat)

Bill was in Panama City, Florida on his umpteenth mission trip with our students...

(Far right in the orange shirt. For a 45 year old,

I think he blends in amazingly well with all those young uns)

My mission was survival. After having my other half gone for a week,

I felt a little bit like this...

It would have helped if i would NOT have watched seasons 3-5 of Friday Night Lights until 3am three nights in a row. At 41, I still don't quite have that responsibility thing down yet.

Now we are all reunited...

and it feels so good.