That's my name...

and, believe me, they wear it out. Mom (to Tate). Mother (to Em). Mommy ( to Jack). And Momma (to Lulu). All variations on a theme, but all my name. A blessed name, even when it's being whined or said with rolling eyes. I LOVE this name. And I'm thankful I had a day to be reminded of that.

One reminder was thanks to a little tantrum I threw. It was a grown up tantrum, of course, but it was a tantrum nonetheless. It was Saturday and Bill and the kids were headed out in the last couple of hours before we left for Gunga's to get my gift. I had told Emmie what I wanted, but there was some confusion on Bill's part and I ended up advising him about where to go for my gift. For a girl who loves surprises and whose love language is gifts, this was not fun for me. And the fact that they were going out at the last possible minute communicated a lack of value to me. Nevermind the fact that I do everything at the last possible minute. Double standards are an area of strength for me, unfortunately.

So, I was pulling the "Just forget it! I'll just get my own gift." tearful, little dramatics. I should be too embarrassed to admit it, and I am, but it is the way things went down. Bill didn't "just forget it", because after almost 17 years of marriage he knows that I never mean that.

While they were gone, I had time alone to try to figure out what was really going on inside me. I realized that I love to celebrate. I will celebrate just about anything. Mother's Day is a celebration. And yes,along with celebrating my own mother and mother-in-law, I want to be celebrated. But I realized that what I want more than that is to celebrate that I get to be a mother. And to celebrate the 4 little ones who I have the privilege of mothering. This realization changed my perspective on the whole day. It is definitely nice to have a break, but mostly I just wanted to be with the one who I call Mommy and be with the ones who call me Mommy.

So that is what we did. Bill made most of the meal for those of us gathered at Gunga's, which included his mom and my sister's family along with her mother in law. Then he did this...
We talked and laughed and I got to help my Mommy with a few things. I love being able to serve her. Though this role reversal with children helping their aging parents can be painful, it is one of the most healing things to be able to give back a tiny bit to a Mommy who has showered me with so much. I am so blessed to have her as my very own mother and to have her example to look to as I mother...
And one of the highlights, after Jack got a tantrum of his own out of his system, was getting to sit in the back of our mini-van with the kids for the hour ride home. Normally, that wouldn't be my favorite spot in the van, but how sweet it was to be right there with them. Jack fell asleep with his head on my shoulder after talking and laughing and reading.

Yep, I love my name. Whether it's shouted or gently whispered, "Mom" may be one of the sweetest words I know...
The above pictures of Lulu are fun because my uber-talented friend Jenni, surprised me with this outfit for Lulu. She took her favorite shirt of her sons that he had gotten a hole in and turned it into a dress for Lulu. And the first picture is especially sweet because Lulu had just said the word "bible" for the first time.

This morning, I read "I Love You As Much..." to Luci for the first time. Since it has been quite some time since I'd read it I had forgotten the last lines in the book and I could barely choke the words out,

Now sleep, child of mine, while the stars shine above-
I love you as much as a mother can love.

These words hit me harder than ever as I realized the reality that I love this baby with the very same love and intensity that I love the three that I physically gave birth to. She is mine and I am hers. And, I am sure, her birth mother her loved her as much as a mother could love as well. Adoption is such a bittersweet reality. And I am thankful that it has become a part of my reality.

Honestly, as thankful as I am for all of my children, I spend plenty of time as a frazzled, impatient, cranky mom. And yet, the wonder of it all is not lost on me. I am a Mom. I am their Mom. That fact alone is what made it a happy, happy Mother's Day.

(And it didn't hurt that I got two beads for my Pandora charm bracelet. Gifts may be the lamest love language, but I speak it fluently.)

Caribbean Queen

Just two weeks ago, I was on a Cruise. Now this Caribbean Queen is back to her mac and cheese world. Don't get me wrong...I love mac and cheese. But it was nice to live the high life with my Mommy and sisters for a few days. Let me introduce you to my mateys.

Gunga...
You've heard me sing her praises, if you've read any of my blog. I assure you, she is "all that" and more. Case in point, she paid for this entire trip for us, yet she acted like we were giving her a gift by going with her.

Carrie...
I usually call her "Cacky" because that's what I called her when I was little. She is 12 years older than me and she has always been a hero to me. But even more so over the past few years as I have watched her walk through dark times with grace, beauty, humility and an unshakable faith.

Amy...
She has that incredible combination of being both really funny and really deep. She studies and teaches God's Word with passion. She has been the bedrock of our family as she helped my Mom care for my Dad throughout the 7 years of Alzheimer's. And now is walking alongside my Mommy each day as she deals with cancer.

Georgie...
Georgie's life is a miracle, and I don't use that word lightly. I wasn't alive for it, but after her birth she wasn't supposed to make it. But, God had other plans for her, and he "extra juiced" her at the time of her healing because she is brilliant. Never play Trivial Pursuit with her. Even if she doesn't know the answer, she'll figure it out somehow. She's loyal, passionate, creative and just plain fun.

Someone else found a "matey" while we were gone in the form of the special gifts our room attendants made with our towels...

One thing I love about cruising are the incredible men and women who staff the ship. They are from all over the world and work so hard, sending money home to their families. We adored our servers, Eman and Budi...
And yes, Budi is pronounced "booty". This was my kids' favorite part of my cruise recollections.

Our first destination: Key West. It is cute, cute, cute...
And flat, flat, flat...
Gunga napped as the sisters shopped and went to the beach...
I know I don't have a future as a foot model. But those little piggies sure were enjoying the soft sand and warm water.

That night was formal night for dinner. Here I am cleansing my palate before dessert with the yummy sorbet...

Who knew one's palate needed to be cleansed? Despite how delicious it was, I won't make it a habit. I don't need another thing to clean!

We were sassed out, so I wanted a picture of us all(that didn't cost $20). I found a "great" way to get one of all of us, thanks to the mirrored elevators...
Turn off the flash, Miss...
Oops...
It only took 15 minutes of riding up and down the vator to come up with this...
Not a bad picture. And a priceless memory.

Then it was time to depart for our next destination: Cozumel, Mexico...
We didn't see much of Cozumel. We shopped in the tourist-y area and spent the next day having buyer's remorse about what we did or didn't buy. But the main thing we noticed about Cozumel was the blue of the ocean water. It was almost unnatural, it was so blue. Like a blue raspberry slush at Sonic. Let's just say the only bodies of water in our neck of the woods that are remotely blue are toilet bowls with Tidy Bowl in them. And that is definitely a rarity in this house.

That night was the dessert buffet from 11pm-midnight...
'Nuff said.

The last day was spent relaxing at sea. That night we listened to big band music before dinner. My Mom requested "Time After Time" by Frank Sinatra, not Cyndi Lauper. It was her song with my Dad. It was not a song they were used to playing, but they worked it out and made my Mom both happy and sad...
Finally, I made a new friend while on the cruise. He happens to be a young man, but it was all on the up and up. Though, Bill knows, I did give leave a tiny piece of my heart with him. His name is Rau. He was the man who made me Eggs Benedict every morning...
Oh, how I miss him. Actually, it's the eggs that I miss. There is now an Egg Benedict shaped hole in my heart that can only be filled by Rau.

But I will carry on. I am so thankful to have had the fun that we did, while also being able to return to my beloved chaos. And that is exactly where I am right now...the little people, the laundry, the ants, the dirty toilets, the field trips, the diapers, the mac and cheese. And of course, there is the man who may not make me Eggs Benedict but still makes my heart skip a beat...

My Pleasure

I am home. So glad to be with my peeps again. But so sad to not have anyone to put my napkin on my lap for me. Yes, it was 5 days of pampering with my Mommy and sisters on this..

As predicted we laughed, we shopped, and we ate to our hearts content. We saw beautiful sights, none more beautiful than this...
Among other things, I was reminded how generous my mother is. I always tip just enough to feel like I have given something, but no more. Let me just say this, if you want to find a lucrative job, be the wheelchair attendant in any airport that my mother travels in. She is a generous tipper and I learned from her (again), the beauty of being an giver...
We started out in Miami. O my word, what a beautiful city...
I've never wanted to go to Miami, but I understand what all the fuss is about now. Not only is it beautiful, but the people were so kind and welcoming and the Cuban food was yummy!

Here we are, giddy with excitement, just as we are entering the ship knowing that, for the next four days, our every wish will be granted...
And every time we say thank you for those granted wishes, it would be answered with "My Pleasure" in a myriad of different accents. So lovely. There are many reasons why I would recommend Celebrity cruise line and this one is near the top of the list.

We excitedly disembarked, headed for Key West, without a thought of the Titanic in my head...
Though I still missed everyone back home, I was so happy to be with these women who I admire and adore...
Dinner the first night was yummy as expected. Here is a picture of my Mushroom Cappuccino Soup...

Where do they come up with this stuff? All I know is that I'm so happy that they do! Later on, back in our adjoining staterooms I was wanting a picture of all of us, but Gunga had already put on her jammies. It's really not fair to ask the woman who has macular degeneration to try to take a picture, but I did...
Actually, she did a great job...
And was a great sport about it as well. I have also learned from my mother the value of being able to laugh at yourself. Unfortunately, I give myself lots of material.

I took along a little reminder of home. The kids usually send us with one stuffed animal per child to remember them by. Since I left really early in the morning, only Emmie sent a stow away along. Meet Puffer...
He had a grand old time. As did we. More to come...

Bon Voyage

I shouldn't be posting, I should be packing. Because I'm headed to Miami so I can board this...
Gunga is taking her 4 daughters on a cruise. Once I am with these people...
I know I will be so happy. Though we look terribly un-fun in the above picture, I can honestly say if there's one thing we know how to do it is laugh. (Laugh and intake an inordinate amount of cheese.) We will laugh until we cry. Eat until we have to unbutton the top button of our pants. And soak up the sunshine as we soak in our shared memories.

But at this moment, all I can think about is how much I am going to miss these people...

That and I'm thinking about the Titanic. Wish I wasn't, but I am.

Remembering Easter

It was a different kind of Easter celebration as I was reeling from the shock of my friend Randi's death. But because of the loss, I was acutely aware of the gift of life and the blessing of being able to be with the ones you love.

We had an Easter Egg Hunt at Gunga's. Please note the difference between an Egg-less Jack...
And an Egg-full Jack...
Happy hunting...
Maybe he's a little too old for this...
But Lulu is not too old. It was her first ever Egg Hunt. The flat ground was covered in doggie doo and picking up poo was not on my list of Easter activities. So she was on uneven terrain and I kept fearing she was going to wipe out. Which would not only be sad on it's own, but might ruin all my pictures, right?! This is why I went a little "Kate Gosselin" on Bill (who had the job of protecting Lulu and my pictures) which my sister caught on video. But I did manage to get some precious pictures afterall...
Oh what joy when you discover what is making the sound when you shake the egg...
is actually EDIBLE...
When you then spill the cheerios all over the ground and your mom lets you eat them, along with the dirt and grass stuck to them, your face will look like this...
Yeah, I know, icky. Yet irresistable.

She was so proud of her eggs...
Either that or she was saying "Please sir, I want some more"...
Judging by that desperate look, I'm gonna go with the latter. Someone furry was also saying "Please sir, I want some more"...
A weekend spent with extended family was the best kind of Easter treat...
Gunga with 10 of her 14 grandchildren...

Grandma with all 4 of her grandchildren...

And our little family on Easter Sunday...
Thankful for life. Thankful for Jesus. Thankful for family. And, of course, thankful for coordinated outfits.

And just to keep it real, feast your eyes on this...
Lovely, don't ya think? And yet another precious moment caught on film as I am clearly unimpressed with Tate's dance moves while I'm trying to get a fabulous picture of our happy family...
I want to cherish every moment. Even those that aren't Kodak ones.