Whoo's Two? Lulu!

Valentime is both an emotionally charged and busy time for me. Lulu's birthday is on the 9th. The anniversary of my Daddy's death is on the 12th. The kids always have Valentine's parties in their classrooms that I usually plan near the 14th. And, it often seems to be, someone is sick around here.

Here's how it went down this year. Tate was sick and home from school all week. It was fun because most days we had an afternoon movie date while Lulu napped. Hitch, Rush Hour, Inception, and several episodes of The Office were our selections. I wasn't feel so hot either, so it was nice to just rest. The good news is I got to take care of my big boy and spend some quality time with him. The bad news is that Lulu's nap time is when I spend time with Jesus and get things done around the house. Two things that didn't happen much this week.

The anniversary of my Daddy's death was the same day I had Lulu's party. Which meant I was significantly distracted and barely thought about it. Which, for a strong feeler like me, isn't really good thing. But Tate was no longer contagious and I was feeling better, so we dove head first into Lulu's party. Ready or not. Mostly not. Funny thing is that I have been planning her owl theme party for about 8 months and I still wasn't ready. But I was thrilled with her invitations that I got through dimpleprints on etsy...

She has all kinds of cute party stuff. Easy, affordable, and adorable. All I had to do was send her the text and picture then have them printed at the nearby Walmart, which made me happy.

One thing I was NOT happy with were the freaky looking "owl" cupcakes that I got from the grocery store...

It's an owl party, people, not a Toucan party. Next time I promise to go with plain cupcakes and cute cupcake toppers. Despite my disappointment, do you know who loved it? The one who really matters...

She loved all three cupcakes she ate. And the sherbet. And the Izze...

The decorations were very simple. I just kept everything from the LulaPalooza on her actual birthday and added some random owls and pix of her in her owl hat (also found on Etsy) to the mix...

Thank you, Amy, for letting me borrow your upcycled Valentine's owl to decorate with. You are my crafting guru...

And thank you, Walmart, for having marshmallow Owl Valentine's treat for cheap, easy party favors...

(Did you know that you spell marshmallow with an a instead of an e? I had no idea.)

The Lulu sign was another Etsy purchase...

It's cute, but it was smaller than I expected. I'm sure it said the size on the description, I just don't tend to pay attention to such things. I did pay attention to my accessories for the party, though...

Lulu's besties were there to hoot and holler with her...

And color with her...

And do "Pre-School Musical Jumps" with her...

The Birthday girl was having a good time. But the Birthday Girl's Mom was not. I was basically pouting and complaining because the party wasn't what I envisioned (not this issue again!). I didn't make the felt owls, or make the tissue paper pom pom's or put the fruit on skewers or fill the cute owl pinata with candy...

{whining continues} Or order the owl barrettes in time or get the right tablecloth or get the good bubble blower from Gymboree or figure out how to face paint owls or make the owl treat bags or turn the deviled eggs into little owls. And then there was the Nightmare on Sesame Street cake. This is when my friend, Kim, spoke truth into my life like only she can do. It went something like, "Okay, you need a serious attitude adjustment. Everything is great. And your friends are here so let's just focus on being together." Thanks, sister...

I needed that. Because there I was without felt owls, owl barrettes and owl treat bags, but with my peeps..."

Now that's something to hoot about!

P.S. If you want to do an owl party, please let me know because I have links and unused ideas (that I'm no longer whining about)to pass on!

LulaPalooza

lulu's birthday party is on saturday. but i couldn't let a birthday just slip on by. problem was, tate was sick and miserable and i was just so-so. and lulu, well she decided that her birthday would be a good day to "bring it" in the two year old behavior department...

i was exhausted by 9:42am. but we still managed to "bring it" in the celebration department, as best we could, with our very own lulapalooza...

this is how it began: when the birthday girl asks for cheezits for breakfast, she gets cheezits for breakfast...

and since we didn't have a very good breakfast, i guess, we had french toast and egg casserole for dinner. for dessert we had pink lemonade cupcakes (w/store bought lemon icing that had pink food coloring in it)...

they didn't turn out how i envisioned (this should be the name of my blog since NOTHING ever does!). i wanted the real big gumballs, but didn't want to spend the time or money to get them. though they weren't super cute, they still were devoured...

lulu was clearly excited about the mini ben and jerry's cups of ice cream everyone got...

everyone except for me. i'm "dieting" so i got myself a skinny cow one instead and i didn't even eat all of it. oh, but don't congratulate me just yet. i was the one doing the aforementioned devouring. i ate two cupcakes. that'd be two that night plus two the next day. probably not the best way to shed the pounds.

lulu was enamored by the decorations. first it was the balloons...

then the dangling lollies and candy-filled centerpiece caught her eye...

edible centerpieces don't last long around here.

what lasted way too long was the photo session i tried to have...

which left her resorting to hiding under the table...

which was when i had to remind myself that her birthday is supposed to be about her, not about me. so we celebrated our girl...

some more horizontally than others (poor tate)...

it didn't hit me until i was putting her to bed that we forgot to give her her presents! which is fitting really. because even though it was her birthday, she has always been the gift...

she's even wearing the hugest bow ever to prove it!

as her put her to bed, i was flooded with the emotion that i knew would come at some point on that day. it was a celebration of lulu's birth, but we were not there for her birth. and her birth family cannot be with her to celebrate her life on these special days. on each of my biological kids birthdays we have a tradition that i tell the story of when they were born. i am going to have to think about the ramifications of this for lulu as she gets older. but for last night, i told her what little i knew. which was hardly anything at all. and i cried. but then i was reminded that though i wasn't there, Someone was there with her. He knows every detail of how she came into this world. and though her birth mother is gone, He is with her still. and He knows every detail of the story of her life that will unfold.

so i do have a story to tell her. it may not have a lot of details, but it is a love story. and it is her story. i'm so glad we get to be part of the plot too.

happy birthday to lu!

when we went to bed last night lulu was one...

then we wake up today and she is this many...

(I love that I can see a little bit of lipstick in the corner of her mouth from when she seized her opportunity to smear it all over her face while i was on the phone with kristin. i was distracted for 45 seconds tops. she's just that good. or bad. depending on how you look at it.)

it feels like it happened just like that. overnight. like yesterday she looked like this...

and, poof, she wakes up like this...

we just announced that she was home...

and now we are announcing that she is TWO...

she may be a year older, but she is still "Her Loveliness".

have you heard the line bruno mars sings about her?

"and when you smile

the whole world stops and stares for awhile

'cause you're amazing

just the way you are"

you are amazing, just the way you are.

you have changed our lives.

you have changed our hearts.

and you are changing before our eyes.

but this will never change:

you are ours.

you may no longer be a baby,

but you are our baby.

we love you, dear lulu.

super

i had an unfortunate run in with a scale at the doctor's office this week that led me to decide late saturday night that my diet should start sunday. superbowl sunday. the super bowl sunday when our life group is gathered and our countertop is overflowing with treats divine. needless to say, my superbowl diet was a super FAIL. but the time with our friends was super fun. and fergie's bedazzled football uniform outfit was super cool.

speaking of the excessive use of the word super, did anyone see the "what not to wear" episode with the flight attendant with the caked on make-up who kept describing her garish wardrobe as "super cute"? emmie and i thoroughly enjoyed it and can't stop mimicking her. try it, you'll like it.

also included in the weekend was a super celebration of my nephew tim's birthday...

and now we have another birthday to get ready for. a little lady who is genuinely "super cute" and almost TWO...

which is super hard for this momma to believe.

but not everything about my weekend was super. there are some things in life that are just not bloggable, but are so deeply woven into your heart that you have to blog that you can't blog about them. that was my friday. a night that i stood on holy ground. a night that i saw and heard and felt god in deeply beautiful, yet painful ways. i texted bill about the experience, "when i doubt god, i will remember this night because he showed me that he is real."

to my friday friends, you know you are: i am believing god with you and for you. because of you, i am more convinced than ever that he is real.

so much in this life is anything but super. i wish the hardest things in life were things trivial things like failing a diet. but when you see god in the midst of pain and fear and darkness, you may not find "super", but you may find peace and hope. and even all the money that went into the superbowl, can't buy that.

finding my voice

i wish i could sing. when i was in junior high i wanted to sing like amy grant. now i wish i could sing like alicia keys or fergie. or my friend rebecca whose voice is as pure as an angel's. yes it's true that i can do a pretty sweet, though off key, cher impersonation. (though for some reason my church hasn't taken me up on my offer to do a special song, "i got you, lord." go figure!) but i can't really sing.

still, i do have a voice in life. i've been thinking lately about how i am supposed to use it. both in my daily life and on this blog. i use my voice in lots of ways both for good and ill. i praise my god. i communicate my love to my friends and family. i celebrate life with my voice. but around the house i also use my voice in some ways i am not proud of. i have used my voice to shame my kids more times that i would like to admit (sadly, i am still learning the difference between disciplining them and shaming them.) i can tear my husband down with sarcasm or an unnecessary edge in my tone. oftentimes, my voice is harsher than it needs to be with the kids, bill, and even the dogs. case in point, lulu started saying "go away!" and when i asked the kids who they thought set that example for them, they each pointed to one of the others. the very next day, i caught myself as i started to shout "GO AWAY!" to the hairy beast. guess who was the poor example this time?

and way too many other times. in fact, even i as i was writing this i just yelled at emma to stop yelling. proverbs 15:1 is up on my bathroom mirror, "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." up on my mirror, but not lived out enough in my life.

beyond how i say it, i am not always sure what message my voice should speak. in daily life and in bloggy land. i know i want to share (and live out) the gospel. i know i love to use my voice to make people smile, and laugh and cry (the good, healing kind of tears). i know i want to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. but i don't know always know what that is supposed to look like. i am a pretty simple girl, but i don't want to be a shallow girl. and i get all mixed up as i try to figure out what it is supposed to look like for ME to find my voice in this world.

i think i came one "note" closer to understanding my voice this week. i think i have found my mission statement in life (it's a mission statement, not a memo...name that movie) thanks to my friend Rachel. She gave me the cutest little bag that says

"live imperfectly, with great delight"

on the back. and thus a mission statement was born. this is how i want to use my voice. i really have no choice but to live imperfectly. but i want to do it with great delight. great delight in my god. great delight in my family. great delight in each person i come in contact with. great delight in each day. great delight in the world. i want my voice to communicate delight. even delight in the quite imperfect life i am living.

so, that's my voice. now i just need to keep practicing my singing. some days it may resemble a bit more of a croak or moan. and i'm pretty sure it's gonna come out sounding like my crazy cher impersonation, not fergie. but that's okay, 'cause that's just me.

have you found your voice? i'd love to hear your memo mission statement...

snow has frozen my bloggy brain

i have lots going on in my mind and heart, but as a result of everybody home for two snow days, my post has been reduced to this lame list.

1. we watched despicable me. LOVED it.

2. we made french toast, pizza bagels, and blueberry-banana shakes...

(i had to promise to cut tate out of the pic due to a bad hair day...teenagers!)

3. i committed the poison control number to memory thanks to lulu brushing her teeth with A&D ointment, and trying to eat hydrocortisone cream and putting mascara on as lip gloss...

(i guess i'm too busy keeping her alive to wipe her nose.)

4. i showered both days. but after i showered i just put on jammies. tomorrow life will get back to normal, so i will have to put on real clothes. and say goodbye to my minions. bummer. at least i'll still have this one around...