And we're off...

I forgot my tennis shoes, but other than that I think we got everything. I have every over-the-counter med known to man. And itty bitty socks just waiting to be filled with itty bitty feet.

From this vantage point, time has flown by. Six years ago I first had an inkling that international adoption might be for us. It was quickly dismissed, but obviously it was a seed that God Himself planted in me.

In February '08 we were confident God wanted us to pursue international adoption, but didn't know which country. As we prayed and looked into it, I can remember the night that another seed was planted in my heart. It was Ethiopia. I stood at the side of my bed and somehow just knew that Ethiopia was the country. I didn't know at that time that there were 4 million orphans in that country. I didn't know why God was nudging us that direction, but I knew if He was leading that I wanted to follow.

In May '08 we decided on our agency, All God's Children International. And in June we sent in our initial application. I didn't know if I would ever make it out of the paperchase phase with my sanity in tact, but then I realized that my sanity has never been in tact so it didn't matter anyway.

We were officially on the Waitlist at #28 in November of '08. I kept busy during this time trying not to obsess over where we were on the list. And then on May 28th, the call came for our sweet girl. Something crazy happened that allowed us to have our court date on June 26th. It still boggles my mind. We passed and voila...we had a fourth child! Luci May "R", you are a Kollar and you are deeply loved.

Now it is time for us to meet this dear one. We get to see her birth country. Hopefully, we get to meet her birth Grandmother. And, my heart is swelling within me, we get to bring her home. I am scared silly about having a baby. About attachment and bonding. About travelling halfway across the world. About all the changes we will go through as a family. But overshadowing my fears is an anticipation, joy, and hope.



Let's do this.



P.S. We return to Omaha on July 31st at pm on Northwest Airlines.

This is really happening

We are packing. We are leaving. We are "having" a baby!

In all the traveling, returning home, errands, packing, and de-lice-ifying I think it hasn't really hit me yet. We are really far behind. I recall seeing other blogs with the cute little nursery pictures. Not happening. I've seen the donations ready to go in bags by the front door. We're still gathering donations even at this late date. Speaking of late, I am staying up so late every night that I might be getting my body used to the time in Ethiopia already. I know I should be getting sleep while I can, but I have all this packing to do. And I couldn't very well go to Ethiopia without watching "The Bachelorette:Men Tell All" online, could I?

I for sure have one thing we will need, though. A friend went to get me diapers today. Before that I had none. I do have two diaper bags though. They might be empty, but they are fabulous!

Thanks to the kindness of friends, we have other things for Little Lulu as well. Clothes, toys, blankets, bibs. The bibs are very important because apparently she is a bigtime drooler. Ah, like mother like daughter (although I usually only drool when I'm sleeping). Many of these things came as the result of a precious shower that Crusade staff friends had for me before we left Colorado. These are precious women who I have served in ministry with for many years in different capacities. Here are some pictures...

Sorry about covering up her face. Before long i will plaster it everywhere!

i felt a bit like a granny registering, but it was really fun!

The "Pray for Luci May" favors with African Red Bush tea and kisses.

Now in the final hours as we prepare to go, I don't want to get lost in the busyness. I want to remember who it is we are going for. Our sweet Luci. Here is a recent update we received about her: "R" is a content baby. She is sweet spirited and adorable and very smiley. "R" is just a bundle of cuteness! She has this incredibly cute smile when she is happy and it does not take long to get this out of her! She is continuing to grow and loves to be held although she is diligently works on her tummy time as well Her hair is also growing and is very cute, soft curls. She is really quite content most of the time but certainly will let you know when she is hungry or needs a diaper change.

Again, like Mommy...serious about her food.

I also want to remember Who it is that led us into this whole thing to begin with. We are grateful for the opportunity we have had to follow God on this amazing adventure of growing our family through international adoption. Our adventure is just beginning. Ethiopia, here we come!

Home again, home again, Jiggity Jig!

I'm going to write a book. It's titled "Tips For Bringing Home Your Daughter From Ethiopia". Here's a little teaser:

1) Leave home for 5 weeks directly preceding your departure. This will force you to do everything last minute, which you probably would have done anyway if you are like me, but this way you will be pitied instead of rightly viewed as a procrastinator.

2) Take all your children with you for the immunization appointments. It will be really funny to see your daughter crouching under a table because even the thought of someone else getting shots makes her sick. It will also be really fun to have your youngest son say embarrassing things to the nurse who will not find him amusing.

3) Have two of your children get lice really bad 10 days before you are supposed to leave the country. If your daughter tells you her head is itching, be sure to ignore it and tell her that it's just really dry in Colorado. This will it a total surprise when you wake up to find an army of lice building a dynasty on her head.

I'm sure you are dying for more "wisdom", but you'll just have to buy the book for that. Seriously, the past week has been one of the most intense of my life. Every waking moment has been consumed with trying to rid my environment and my children's hair of those nasty bugs, thus the absence from blogging, email, or even answering the phone. We aren't sure how Emma got it, but we know this is how Jack got it...
Here we are in lice "search and destory" mode...
I am not a very particular housekeeper, but having lice around necessitated changes. I washed all the sheets every day. I followed Emmie and Jack around with the vacuum. I wiped down every surface and washed my hands every 5 minutes. Lice turned me into Adrian Monk.

In the midst of the crazy, there has been so much sweetness. We were so cared for by people who brought us meals, Sonic, Jamba Juice, researched lice treatments, folded our laundry and loved even the lice-infested among them.

And God Himself met me in such sweet ways in the midst of this inconvenience. Now I know that when He says that He knows the hairs on our heads that is saying a lot because THERE ARE A LOT OF HAIRS ON PEOPLES HEADS! As I scoured multiple times a day over my kids heads, I got to pray for them out loud and study every mole and freckle on their heads. There was also something so vulnerable and intimate about being so desperate before the Lord. I would literally cry out for Jesus to help me to find the lice and be able to catch the little buggers. He reminded me that I can't live in fear and I can't control my environment. I learned that I need to give thanks in all circumstances. Yes, I need to give thanks for the lice. Oftentimes it was through tears, but I chose to give thanks.

The lice invasion also brought a few unexpected changes for Team Kollar. Most notably...
Yeah, that's Jack. Gone are his curly locks. Emma got a haircut as well at Salon Momma, but it's not as drastic...
It was a relief to come home to a place where we know there are no lice. But even with the lice gone, they have left their mark on our family. I am still checking heads daily. They have left many loads of laundry and bags of discarded stuffed animals in their wake. Along with a significant paranoia.

But it is good to be home. We miss our "village" with our sweet friends in Colorado, while at the same time savor the sweetness of being home. Home with our friends here. Home with our "hairy beast", Ruby. And home to our house that is NOT infested with lice. A home that will soon be filled with a baby's laughter and a baby's cries. A home that houses a family that is anxiously awaiting who they are supposed to become with her addition. One week from today we meet our girl and we will bring her home.

Ready or Not

We are both ready and not.

We are ready to meet our sweet girl. We are ready for her to have a family and so happy that we get to be that family. We are ready to see who we are to become as a family with her addition. Our hearts are so full of love for this little creature that it surpasses any earthly understanding. We are ready to hold this hand...

In these ways, we are ready. We are more than ready to love Lulu.

However, we are not ready in many other ways. First, we are away from home and will not return until 6 days before we fly to Ethiopia. This limits preparedness, I have found. Second, we have not purchased one pack of diapers. No crib set up. No onesies, for pete's sake (who is Pete anyway?)! And third, this ancient momma is really rusty on how to prepare a bottle or change a diaper. It's like riding a bike, right?

The good news is I am delaying the frenzy because there is very little we can do until we return home. The better news is that we have several sweet friends and family that have offered to enter into that frenzy with us. Who am I kidding, though? We have a fair amount of chaos surrounding our family regardless of the circumstances. All those in agreement say "Aye".

Booked

This is happening. It's not a dream. We are going to Ethiopia on July 24th! Our flights are booked. And our sweet Tate gets to go with us. We have been talking and praying about Tate going with us for many months now. I have never seen him so passionate about anything before. We know it is a risk to take an 11 year old on a trip such as this, but we really think this he is supposed to make this journey with us.

So, God willing, 3 Kollars will fly to Ethiopia. And 4 Kollars will return.

As I write this, with joy swelling in my heart, my dear friend is facing surgery tomorrow for breast cancer. My heart is simultaneously joyful and heavy. I am thanking God for His provision in one situation and praying for His healing in another. The joy and the pain, the anticipation and the fear are all mixed together. Isn't that kind of just the way life is? Even still, I am confident of a God who Sees (El Roi) and knows in both the good times and the bad.

Waiting with a Twist

So we are waiting again in our adoption process. This time it is to receive our travel dates. But the waiting in much different now. We know who it is we're waiting for. We know she is our daughter. And we know we will be going to get her very soon. The wait is easier on this side. Much easier.

Here are a few things we've done to pass the time:

1) Eat at an Ethiopian Restaurant...

Yummy!

2) Send Luci May a package...
We meant to do this right after we received our referral, but got a bit delayed with our summer travels. At this point it will barely beat us to her, but we wanted her to have it. I slept with the blanket for three nights so she might know my smell. My oldest three can't understand why she would want to know my smell since they merely tolerate it. The other gift was a baby photo album of our family. I don't know if 4 month old babies can focus in on pictures, but if she can she will see the faces of the people who can't wait to bring her home.

3) Celebrate America's Birthday...


We hope to hear something soon about travel dates and then we will hit hyperdrive as we make travel plans, gather what we need for a baby, pack for Ethiopia and somewhere in there it will probably be good to actually get back home. I should be sleeping while I can instead of up late blogging, huh?

We have a name...

because we have a daughter! We found out today that we passed court. SHE IS OURS. And what a lovely she she is. Still no pictures allowed to be posted of her, though. Instead I have a picture of our family celebrating this momentous day...

Suddenly our family looks so small. It's missing someone. And that someone is...

Luci May "R" Kollar

Luci meaning "light"
May for the month when we first saw her face and our family changed forever
R for her given name which means"blessings" (I don't know if we can post it yet)
And finally Kollar because she is one of us now.

The picture below is from about 2 weeks ago. I am at the park with my friends with her picture in my borrowed Ergo (thanks Beth!) dreaming of the day when she will be in it. I felt a little bit like the person walking their stuffed dog in a mental facility. But now that day is coming. Lulu, we are ON OUR WAY!